BIKETEST HARLEY-DAVIDSON SOFTAIL ROCKER C:WEIGHT TRAINING? Forget it. Ride this baby for an hour a day, and after a month you'll have abs of steel and arms like legs, writes GEOFF HILL
You’ll also – if you ride the version of the Rocker C I borrowed from the dealership, which had an aftermarket air intake the size of a dustbin and matching pipes – be deaf (but happy).
Which seems like a good moment to apologise to all the cows I stampeded in Co Antrim last Thursday as I rode past them sounding like the Ride of the Valkyriesheading for a day of bonding with the four horsemen of the Apocalypse.
Thank heavens it wasn’t calving season, or I would have been sued by every farmer in the county, after a tsunami of premature births.
Not that I was too worried at the time, for my primary concern was to stop myself sliding off the back of the seat, over the luggage rack and into the path of the Tesco lorry behind.
You see, like its Softail stablemate the Cross Bones, the Rocker has a retro single saddle.
On the Rocker, this is a clever little piece of kit, with a patented design that hides a passenger pillion and struts.
For two-up riding, you just lift up the solo seat and slide out the second one. Very handy if standing in the kitchen, looking meaningfully into the middle distance and saying that you ride alone because all heroes do is wearing a bit thin with your other half.
As for the solo seat, it’s flat and springy and great for bouncing up and down on pretending you’re three years old again, but has no visible means of stopping the rider proceeding backwards when the motorcycle proceeds forwards.
Making a mental note to post a copy of Newton’s third law of motion – that every force has an equal and opposite reaction – to Harley HQ in Milwaukee the moment I got home, I slid slowly backwards on the seat, hanging on to the bars for grim death, until my bum came into contact with the front of the luggage rack.
There. Problem solved. Although I don’t think it would be a solution for any of you under 6ft 7ins, at least it gave me a chance to appreciate the bike – a process that began the moment I first laid eyes on it.
For, seats aside, the Rocker is a fabulous looking bike, from the skinny front wheel through the distinctive shallow V of the bars, past the achingly beautiful curve of the twin upswept exhausts to the monstrous 240mm rear tyre.
In contrast to the more understated basic Rocker, the C is comprehensively chromed, including the headlamp and triple clamps, the handlebar riser, the lower forks and the tank console and speedo. The finned aluminium oil tank, frame and swingarm are colour-matched to the sheet metal, which features sexy flame graphics.
As for the handling, you wouldn’t think – given the width contrast between the front and back tyre and the shallow rake of the forks – that the Rocker C would corner all that well, but surprisingly, it does: with a little bit of countersteer and a little bit of lean dialling in an angle that will have you scraping the pegs in no time.
Acceleration is fairly hefty once you get the revs up – which at least you can do on Harley-Davidsons these days without shaking all your fillings out – and the Rocker C’s front brake is so effective that, in spite of some fairly heavy use, I only needed to touch the rear once.
And here’s the weirdest thing of all: although I was hanging on for grim death when I took the bike out, by the time I came to leave it back, I was cruising entirely comfortably at motorway speeds and beyond.
Must be those abs of steel and arms like legs.
Now, if you’ll excuse me a moment, Ill just nip down to the Post Office for my Mr Universe application form.
Factfile: Softail Rocker C
Engine:air-cooled, twin cam 1584cc fuel-injected V-twin putting out 117Nm of torque @ 3,200rpm
Transmission and drive:six-speed, belt final drive
Brakes:front 292mm four-piston calipers, rear 292mm two-piston calipers
Fuel capacity:18.9 litres.
Dry weight:307kg
Wheels:front 19in polished five-spoke cast aluminium, rear 18in polished five-spoke cast aluminium
Price:solid €22,160, pearl €22,365. Dublin Harley- Davidson, tel: 01-464 2211, dublinharley-davidson.com or Waterford Harley-Davidson, tel: 051-844200, waterfordharleydavidson.com
(Test bike £14,055 [£14,200 pearl] from Provincewide Harley-Davidson of Antrim, 028-9446 6999, provincewide.com)