Talking property

Those selling and buying face accusations of madness, says Isabel Morton

OVER THE LAST decade or so, property gossip was a source of great entertainment. People gasped in amazement at the prices achieved at auction and whispered about private sales results. They speculated about people's salaries, inheritances, and, indeed, whether or not they had won a rollover Lotto.

But property gossip has changed from being lighthearted and frivolous tittle tattle, to sombre and depressing warnings, predictions of further bad news and 'confirmation' that all is not well.

If you put a property on the market now, it is presumed that you are under pressure to sell despite the fact that, if you reinvest the (admittedly reduced) sale price in buying another property, you will also be buying at a reduced price.

Not only does it balance out but, if you are upgrading, you may actually end up doing very well out of the transaction.

If you dare to consider buying a property these days, you will elicit myriad remarks such as "Are ye mad or what? Sure you'll find yourself in negative equity in no time," or "Hang on for another bit and prices will drop further" or "Aren't you the brave thing?"

If you attempt to sell your property now, the nation presumes the worst.

You will be asked in whispered tones "Is everything OK?" or "How are things going for you?" or "If you need any help, just give us a call."

A couple who successfully managed to sell their home earlier this year, were subject to neighbourhood speculation that they were selling up because they were separating. The rumour was further fuelled when the wife and the couple's two very young children went to stay with her mother to avoid disruption while the house was on view.

When the offer came, the neighbours could not believe the couple were prepared to accept such a low price, and were convinced that it was because they had to sell.

They were not appeased until the couple bought a larger property nearby, for an equally reduced price. Even now, the neighbours do not quite understand the economics of the exercise.

Gossip is rife among the chattering classes, and the stories are becoming more exaggerated by the minute.

One relatively high-profile Dublin couple decided to sell their own home and a number of investment properties before moving abroad. They report that this generated rumours and gossip about their supposed separation, bankruptcy and terminal illness, none of which were true.

Another breed of gossip makes sure that you hear every depressing story doing the rounds.

Having missed out on the Celtic Tiger days, they are now thrilled that the recession, which they have been predicting for so long, has at last arrived.

If you are showing the slightest interest in buying a house these days be prepared, as these misery merchants will make sure to sow a seed of doubt in your mind and will probably manage to put you clean off the whole idea.

One young couple have given up telling anyone when they find a property they are interested in because, invariably, the friend or family member will systematically tear the house to shreds.

It is not in the right area, in good enough condition, nor priced correctly or well orientated.

Someone always finds something to complain about and, because they used to listen and started doubting their own decisions, they have lost four houses.

Neighbours can also be very persuasive and perhaps a little intimidating. Last year a young woman was encouraged to sign a document at a residents' committee meeting, agreeing not to sell her house below a certain figure.

In their infinite wisdom, her neighbours decided that this would be the only way to ensure that their properties maintained their spring 2006 values. Needless to say, no transactions have taken place on that street since then.

The total lack of movement within the property market at the moment has resulted in fewer snippets of gossip and fewer tales to tell.

But as a nation of professional talkers, if there isn't anything in particular to say, we'll just invent something.

Perhaps Oscar Wilde was correct when he said, "There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about."

There is no doubt that he was Irish.