My partner is pushing me to experiment in bed but I do not feel safe or respected

Ask Roe: Your partner is not a safe person to have sex with. He’s not listening to you

What your partner is demonstrating through his actions is a dangerously selfish lack of care for your sense of safety, your desire, your pleasure. Photograph: Getty Images

What your partner is demonstrating through his actions is a dangerously selfish lack of care for your sense of safety, your desire, your pleasure. Photograph: Getty Images

Dear Roe,

My partner has requested several times that we try some experimental methods of making love, and has a kink for BDSM. I agreed once or twice, but find it quite extreme and unnatural, as he has an extremely domineering personality while I am then left to be the sub (in all areas). I have no issue with partaking in minor BDSM and role plays but he seems to want to push things further at a pace that I’m not comfortable with. I’ve talked to him about it and he said he would take it into account but he hasn’t, is it a red flag?

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