‘I am obsessed with my boyfriend’s ex. How can I move on?’

Ask Roe: I know it is unhealthy to be preoccupied with their relationship but I feel irrationally jealous

You are inventing a mystery, a problem, a competition between you and this woman and your relationships, that doesn’t exist. Photograph: iStock

You are inventing a mystery, a problem, a competition between you and this woman and your relationships, that doesn’t exist. Photograph: iStock

Dear Roe,
I met my current boyfriend a number of months ago. We are in our late 20s and he spent a number of years with a girl before me. However, I find myself obsessing over their relationship, looking at old photos, and so on. He does not talk about their relationship. However, I know it was his decision to end it and I know the reason why.

I know it is unhealthy to be so preoccupied with their relationship but I am struggling and feel jealousy towards his ex. I find myself scrolling through pictures of them and end up feeling upset. He is an incredibly kind man, and I know if I was to raise this with him he would shut down any fears of mine, but I don’t want to introduce such irrational jealousy into our relationship. How can I move forward?

The Irish Times
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