Michael Kelly does without . . . deodorant
I know. You're thinking: Oh, God, that's disgusting. But before you move off to another article, I promise this won't put you off your breakfast. Firstly, let me explain that my motives for this experiment were good. Secondly, I'm a hygienic person, so the idea grossed me out as much as it would you. And, thirdly, I found an alternative, so I wasn't a complete minger for the week or anything. Okay?
Pretty much every morning I had been wondering about the health implications of using deodorants. They have been the subject of various, largely unproven, health scares, suggesting, for example, that the aluminium they contain causes cancer and Alzheimer's disease.
Could it possibly be good for you to spray an extensive concoction of chemicals on to highly porous skin? My brand contains, among other things, butane, propane and aluminium chlorohydrate. Propane? Isn't that what I use in the patio heater? Why am I spraying it on my pits?
There is a big difference between deodorants and antiperspirants, which I wasn't aware of. Antiperspirants do what it says on the tin: they block the sweat glands, and sweating is a vitally important way for the body to cool itself down and expel toxins. Deodorants do nothing to prevent sweating; they merely smell nice.
For the first few days I was disappointed to discover that I didn't seem to sweat or smell at all. But I don't fell trees for a living. I spend most of the day sitting behind a desk, writing. How sweaty could I be?
On the third day, following some activity in the garden, I was excited to find that I was actually sweating. I wasn't falling over with the stink, but it was a trifle unpleasant, so I found a recipe for home-made deodorant on the web.
This is what I'm reduced to, I thought, as I cooked up a brew of oils - almond, rosemary, lemon - and beeswax.
The finished product was a jar of pungent soft wax, a very tiny amount of which is applied to the underarm. The jar will apparently last a year (it will be a miracle if I am still using it in a few days), and it seemed to work well enough. The key to abandoning deodorant is to accept sweat as a natural and necessary bodily function - while continuing the battle against the odour. Friends and family beware: I'm thinking home-made deodorant might make a quirky Christmas present.