Oh Behave!

You can be anything you want to be, you can wear anything you want to wear in Second Life. What a perfect place to meet Scottish grrrlll rockers The Hedrons, who recently played a sold-out virtual concert there. Kevin Courtneyaka Ziggy LeShelleexcites the ladies by donning some virtual Spandex.

I'M off to meet two members of The Hedrons, an all-girl rock band from Glasgow, and I can't decide what to wear. Have to look my best for these young ladies, so I need to custom-make my own outfit, making sure, of course, that it's not too revealing - don't want to offend anyone around here.

I'm also unsure about what colour and length my hair will be, and I haven't yet settled on my name. Will I choose something grand like Nebuchadnezzar Sinatra, or will I go for something a bit more rock'n'roll, like Kurt Kubrick? I've definitely decided, though, that I'm going to be male. A cybergoth male, to be precise, although that microphone stuck to the side of my head will have to go.

I'm meeting two members of The Hedrons in the oddest place I've ever done an interview: Second Life. I've met stars backstage, in their hotel rooms, in restaurants, and even in a museum, but I've never interviewed anyone in an online world, where people live, interact, buy and sell goods and property, create objects, chat and (gasp!) even have sex. Second Life is one of the internet's most popular virtual worlds, populated by more than two million people, each with their own avatar, which they can modify in any way they choose.

Want to be a big, buxom Amazon with dreadlocks, or a muscle-bound hunk of beefcake with a giant handlebar moustache? Just click the corresponding button and you can be who you've always wanted to be.

Me, I've always wanted to be a space-age 1970s pop star, so I've gone for flared sleeves and flared trouser legs, spiky orange and black hair, pale skin and sunken cheekbones. And I've settled on my Second Life name - Ziggy LeShelle. Time to log in and meet The Hedrons.

The girls I'm going to interview are no strangers to Second Life. Last October, the band played a concert here in a specially constructed venue named the Hedro Dome. The gig was publicised on Second Life (and in real life), and fans from all over the world (or their avatars, at least) arrived at the venue to be part of the virtual audience. Perhaps it was pulling power of The Hedrons or a sign that Second Life is sorely in need of a live music scene, but the gig was mobbed, and a large number of subscribers were turned away from the Hedro Dome for fear of crashing Second Life's servers.

While the real Hedrons (vocalist Tippi, guitarist Rosie, bassist Chi and drummer Soup) were playing an actual gig in Glasgow, their avatars were onstage in the Hedro Dome, cranking out such punked-up rock'n'roll songs as I Need You, Heatseeker and Couldn't Leave Her Alone to an enthusiastic, animated crowd.

Back in the real world, The Hedrons have made quite a bit of headway, playing 120 gigs last year, including debut appearances at the Download and T in the Park festivals. They've also toured with hoary old grunge-rockers Alice in Chains, but hey, everybody's gotta pay their dues. The payoff comes with the upcoming release of the band's debut album, One More Won't Kill Us, which is set to blast out of speakers from next week. It seems like the world is ready for an all-girl band that mashes up The Runaways, Elastica, Foo Fighters and Stooges into one sexily appealing noise.

The Hedrons weren't the first act to add Second Life to their tour itinerary. Suzanne Vega stakes the claim to be the pioneer in that respect, performing with a guitar specially made for her by a Second Life resident. (Making stuff is ridiculously hard here; you'd need a degree in higher maths and engineering just to construct a chair.) Duran Duran also played a gig here but - rich bastards - they did it on their own exclusive island far from the ordinary world of Second Lifers. Even in a virtual world, you gotta keep the common touch.

Now that I've got my avatar and I'm ready to meet The Hedrons, I've got to find my way around Second Life and learn how to do basic stuff like walk, run, fly and stop. Particularly stopping. That's very important if you don't want to end up in the ocean or in the middle of an empty field. I chat by typing my questions, and - disconcertingly - my avatar makes typing movements while I chat.

After a short orientation, I'm ready to enter Second Life proper, and wait at the welcome area for further instructions. The welcome area is packed with avatars, some of them dressed rather scantily indeed. (There are, apparently, "mature" areas in SL where you can do more than look, but no time for that now). A message comes on my screen inviting me to teleport to the Hedro Dome. I click and, hey presto! I'm standing in a room with Tippi and Soup. They look pretty much as they do in real life, ie, rock babes, and Soup is even holding a pair of drumsticks (nice touch).

Tippi: Is that you?

Ziggy: It's me.

Soup: Hello Me.

Tippi: Like the outfit.

Soup: Good hair.

Soup steps closer to me - a little too close. Maybe she thinks I look this cool in real life.

Tippi: Stop trying to attack him!

Soup: Sorry, I can't help it. As Nelly says, I'm a maneater.

Ziggy: Do your avatars resemble you?

Tippi: My ass isn't as big, heh, heh, heh, heh.

Ziggy: When was the last time you were in Second Life?

Soup: I was in last night looking for live music, but there was none to be had.

Ziggy: Does SL need more venues and bands?

Soup: Definitely. There's more Hedrons gigs required.

Ziggy: When you played here, was it a good buzz?

Tippi: It was fab, very strange but a really good laugh.

Soup: Yeah, it was a great laugh, the Coke in the jacks. It was flat, though.

Tippi: Yeah, so was the beer. Flat.

Ziggy: Can people mosh in SL?

Tippi: Yeah, and some people can mosh amazingly.

Soup: They can indeed. We had a man dancing on a cow. Now, you wouldn't get that in real life, would you?

Ziggy: Did anyone throw underwear on stage? A lot of people here seem to go commando.

Tippi: Soup likes to go commando, don't you, Soup?

Soup: Ha ha, we had a naked girl at our gig, actually.

Ziggy: How did you guys end up playing together, and did you always sound so heavy?

Tippi: We met at a rehearsal studio in Glasgow.

At this point, everything freezes up, and there's a long pause while I log out of Second Life and log back in again.

Tippi: Paul [from PVG Concerts, which runs the Hedro Dome] said the venue froze.

Soup: Yeah, we all got thrown out.

Ziggy: For rock'n'roll behaviour?

Soup: Yeah, I did a '70s dance move - criminal offence.

Tippi: At least Soup didn't steal anything.

Ziggy: Has friendship been a major factor in the band?

Soup: Yes, of course, we go over to each other's houses, listen to CDs and slag off each other's music taste.

Tippi: Get drunk and have a laugh.

Ziggy: What sort of stuff would have you been listening to in your teens?

Tippi: Led Zeppelin, Neil Young, The Clash, Paul Weller.

Soup: I was listening to The Rolling Stones, The Clash, Led Zeppelin, Bowie.

Ziggy: Would you still go and see those guys?

Tippi: Would love to have seen Zep and The Clash. Never got a chance to. And would still go and see Weller and Neil Young.

Soup: I've seen the Stones twice. I've also seen Jimmy Page and Robert Plant play in Glasgow - amazing.

Ziggy: NME called you pub-rockers. Compliment or insult?

Soup: I'm still trying to figure that one out.

Tippi: Well, we're not exactly playing arenas. Go figure.

Ziggy: You said once you sounded like big hairy guys, so I half expected your avatars to look like big, hairy bikers.

Tippi: We waxed before we got here.

Soup: We're a match for any band consisting of male musicians. We play hard and party hard.

Ziggy: You've worked hard too; 120 gigs last year.

Tippi: That's the only way to do it, and that's what we love about being in a band - playing live.

Ziggy: You played Dublin before Christmas. Who parties harder, the Dubs or the Glaswegians?

Tippi: I think we're on a par.

Soup: I think we're equals there.

Ziggy: The new album is coming out soon. Are you hoping to get to bigger arenas if it does well, or do you like it small and sweaty?

Soup: I'd love to be playing on huge stages. I think I would miss the dirty rock'n'rollness of the toilet tour, though.

Ziggy: What was the worst gig, where your ladylike sensibilities were offended?

Tippi: They're never offended. We're tough girls.

Just to illustrate how tough they are, Soup pushes me, then gets up close again. Even though we're only computer animations, I feel a little uncomfortable. I'm a married man in the real world, for goodness sake!

Tippi: What's going on here?

Soup: Sorry, I can't control myself.

Tippi: I think you can, Soup. Behave!

Eventually I manage to extricate myself from Soup's embrace. Gosh, this never happens to me in real life.

Ziggy: If you misbehave online, is it cheating?

Tippi: The intent is there.

Ziggy: Does SL free inhibitions, or does it just set up a whole new set of controls?

Tippi: Makes us feel free as a bird.

Soup: I'm sure there are people out there who could use it to go wild. We obviously use it as a great way to reach a different audience.

Ziggy: Will you come back and play another gig on SL?

Tippi: We'd love to.

Soup: Yeah, that would be cool.

Ziggy: If you really were given a second life, what would you change?

Soup: I would change these clothes.

Tippi: I think I would change nothing. What's the point? You just gotta do the best with what you've got. As far as music goes, I wouldn't change a thing.

Soup: Will we see you in person when we come to Ireland?

Ziggy: Yes, that would be nice. Look for a typical middle-aged male rock journo.

Tippi: What, you don't look like how you look now?

One More Won't Kill Us is out February 2nd on Measured Records. The Hedrons are at www.thehedrons.com and Second Life is at www.secondlife.com .