Billie Eilish: Watching pornography from the age of 11 destroyed my brain

Singer says addiction gave her nightmares and messed her up when she began dating

Grammy-winning singer Billie Eilish has spoken about an addiction to watching pornography, starting at age 11, and how it gave her nightmares and messed her up when she started dating.

Eilish, who turns 20 on Saturday, was speaking on The Howard Stern Show on Sirius XM radio on Monday. "I think porn is a disgrace. I used to watch a lot of porn, to be honest. I started watching porn when I was, like, 11," the Bad Guy singer said, saying it helped her feel as if she were cool and "one of the guys".

“I think it really destroyed my brain and I feel incredibly devastated that I was exposed to so much porn,” she added, saying she suffered nightmares because some of the content she watched was so violent and abusive.

Eilish said she was “angry” that pornography was “loved” and created serious problems for men and consent.


Eilish, who was homeschooled in Los Angeles and has seven Grammy Awards, is known for her often dark lyrics. In the ballad Male Fantasy on her second album Happier Than Ever, she sings about being home alone and distracting herself with pornography as she recalls a broken relationship.

Eilish said she is now angry at herself for thinking it was okay to watch so much porn. “The first few times I, you know, had sex, I was not saying no to things that were not good. It was because I thought that’s what I was supposed to be attracted to,” she said.

Eilish said: “I’m so angry that porn is so loved and I’m so angry at myself for thinking that it was okay and . . . it’s how so many people think they’re supposed to learn.

“It’s how so many men think they’re supposed to be and because in porn there’s no consent there’s a huge problem of consent and not just consent in having sex but consent during sex.

“Yeah it’s not super hot if someone is like ‘can I do this?’ . . . but it’s really important.”

Eilish, who started her career wearing baggy clothes to prevent people from commenting on her body, became the youngest person in history to win all four of the top Grammy Awards in the same year when she took home the statuettes for new artist, album, record and song of the year in 2020 at age 18.

The singer said her fame had made it hard to date. “It’s really hard to meet people when, you know, people are either terrified of you or think you’re out of their league,” Eilish told Stern. – Reuters/PA