Mixing without alcohol

New Neighbours: Christmas is meant to be a time of inclusion, but the Irish focus on alcohol makes it difficult for any non-drinkers - especially those from outside the country, writes Arsheen Qasim.

It's that time of year again, dusting off decorations, getting stuck in pedestrian traffic on Grafton Street in Dublin and drinking copious amounts of alcohol to celebrate the festive season - at the staff party, the Christmas dinner with friends and that charity dance next week.

But how do the new Irish celebrate - those who have emigrated from different lands and made this country their home? It seems every social occasion in Ireland calls for some cork-popping.

Anahita Tabarsi , a 21-year-old student, moved here from Iran when she was four years old. She likes going to concerts but she doesn't drink when she's out. Alcohol is prohibited by Islam, her religion.

"A lot of the Irish culture is based on being able to drink, so by not participating in this, I feel like most of the time I'm on the sidelines," she says.

Anahita has a lot of Irish friends but also mixes with people from different cultural backgrounds. But since drinking seems to be the main thing most young Irish people bond over, those who don't join in this aspect of the culture feel they can't personally connect with Irish people their age.

Ireland has become a vibrant, multicultural society, we are told. As you walk down O'Connell Street you see a kaleidoscope of skin colours and hear different languages. You marvel at how all the people from different parts of the world have successfully integrated into Irish society.

But something is amiss. Where are these young people when you visit your local pub, or when you're on a night out in town? Very rarely do we see a broad cultural mix in our pubs and social venues, despite their great representation on the streets. Ireland's social culture revolves around the pub and drinking, so if there is need for greater integration, shouldn't we see more ethnic minorities meeting Irish people of their age and partaking in their adopted culture?

"When you're in college there are bars everywhere, so after lectures, people usually say, 'let's go for a few drinks'. It can be really hard because I have to go home, so I feel that I didn't really get to know any of the people from my class that intimately," says Anahita.

Emina Ramic (23) from Bosnia, agrees. She moved to Ireland as a teenager and is familiar with the way the social scene works here. "Once they come back from a night out they all talk about it and you weren't there, you feel like, 'I don't have anything to say to add to this conversation'. Even in college I had people who were meeting for a couple of drinks and then sleeping over at each others houses to do some study. If you were doing projects together in a group, they come up with ideas when they're out and you miss them."

Pakistani Aneela Hafeez (24) has lived in Europe all her life, and cites religion and culture as reasons for not drinking. Slowly that became a personal preference. "As I was growing up I saw myself why drinking is bad: I've seen the aftermath of people coming home pissed, basically out of their heads. Luckily, because of the friends I have, I don't feel as if I have to - nobody puts pressure on me."

Emina started drinking occasionally when she turned 18, but she did it purely out of curiosity. "I think it's a totally personal thing: if somebody wants to drink they're gonna drink, and they can blame it on the Irish, but I haven't seen one Irish person who actually has pushed somebody into drinking," says Emina.

But the pressure non-drinkers feel may not always be that obvious. "When you go out with them, it's implicit that everyone will drink and if you don't, it's like you become the laughing joke - 'Oh God you're staying sober, well good luck to you!' - so it can be really, really hard," says Anahita. "When you're sitting there and everyone else has their pints or their shots and you have an orange juice or a Coke, you can feel really left out."

As the hours tick by, more empty pint glasses fill the table and the Irish get more relaxed. It seems to be the opposite case for Anahita.

"Everyone tends to get more intoxicated around you. People act differently when they are drinking. You feel like 'if I was drinking I wouldn't feel so awkward', and that can be really tempting. You're thinking, maybe I'd be able to interact better - right now I'm just sitting here, staring at everyone blankly!"

"You have to get permission from your parents to go out," adds Emina. "I had problems if I was out late. You feel like you're this wrapped-up person and you can't unwrap. You're going against your community, all your beliefs and your family if you do, and if you don't you're still losing out."

Chuck Rashleigh of the Student Counselling Service at Trinity College explains. "Young people who come to a culture where a large piece of that culture is completely prohibited to them, are going to experience a significant sense of alienation, being marginalised, feeling at sea."

These young people are involved in the Irish community in many other ways, through colleges, societies and work, but how important is it to be able to drink alcohol and go to pubs to really integrate into the Irish culture?

Dr David Barrett, an occupational psychologist who has worked with students, feels that the actual barrier is not alcohol but the culture it reinforces. "A lot of the events designed for young people are focused on bar or nightclub culture where drinking is a focal point. So while not drinking does not directly hinder integration, it certainly reduces the scope of situations which someone who doesn't drink might want to attend.

"Having alcohol as a focal point for celebrations seems to marginalise the non-drinking young person in what should be times of inclusiveness: national sporting events, national holidays, academic exams and so on. It means you get a situation where the new arrivals have to conform and go against their own beliefs just for the sake of fitting in."

Robert Macken (22) from Georgia, US, has been going to college here for four years and wishes there were other options. "It's not that I don't like drinking, I just think that if you want to hang out with friends, or you're choosing a destination for a date, it has to be a pub or somewhere where you're gonna drink."

"I wish there was an alternative - cafes and things that are open late night. There are no cafes that are open past 6pm," says Anahita.

Robert feels that even if there might be other things to do, in the end the pub and the pint will rule. "It's so ingrained. I mean you have movies and other things but it's all gonna end with: 'ok, let's head back to the pub'."

He says that in the States alcohol is incorporated into other activities. "You go to baseball games and there's beer there, but it's baseball you're there for, and the beer is like a complement to it."

Anahita feels that drinking is included into a lot of activities. "My main alternative is the cinema," she says. "It's a comfort to fall back on but drinking is still involved. I mean in the UGC, they even have a bar now. So it's like integrated into everything: drink, drink, drink."

But she feels that it's better than nothing. "I guess you can still go and do these things without drinking so I'm happy about that. People do tend to drink, but there's something to do, whereas in a pub the only thing to do is drink."

Dr Barrett believes there needs to be a wider range of places where people can go to mix and enjoy activities that involve everyone. Trinity College has made plans to include an alcohol-free space for social gatherings in its new student recreation centre from next year.

Bilal Hussain (26), an Irish-born Pakistani, doesn't drink either. He thinks the culture will change eventually, but it will take time. "Alcohol will play a large part in Irish social activities but I think pubs will become less of a 'hang-out'. We are seeing that at the moment with the smoking ban."

Aneela feels that young ethnic minorities shouldn't feel like they have to drink to meet other people. "I can have Red Bull, or a Coke, and get really buzzy on that. I don't think people that come from abroad have this mentality of 'I have to drink to mingle'."

But many young people from ethnic minorities tend to stick to their own communities when they come here. A common cultural heritage reinforces the sense of identity among those who might be suffering from culture shock, isolation and a disconnection to their new surrounds. Even minorities who were born here seem to bond easier with their own ethnic groupings.

Bilal has lived in Ireland all his life. "Most of my friends don't drink, so I never had to really adapt to the 'true' Irish culture. I never felt the need to do so."

"Pakistanis have a close-knit community and there's always something going on at somebody's home, we go to the cinema, to the beaches in the summer - we make our own fun," says Aneela. "The more immigrants that come in, they'll have their own huge group of non-drinkers."

Are we breeding segregation within our country, with young minorities who don't drink separate from the rest of the society? Philip Hodson, a Fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, has worked at length with ethnic minorities and Muslims in the UK. He believes that being unable to drink shouldn't pose a problem to integration. "In due course, all immigrant minorities do more or less integrate - they speak the English language and share a common set of values - but they also retain a separate identity," he says, speaking of Britain.

"The question of alcohol will be dealt with differently by different individuals. If the symbolic avoidance of drink really matters to someone, they won't do it. If they feel they can 'still be themselves' and have a secret beer or two, they will. All creeds reach compromises, for example Roman Catholics in the West practise birth control. It is perfectly possible to socialise without drinking. The trick is to take your position and move on - you can still be sociable while sober."

Aneela can relate to that. "I've kind of got my own culture which is bit Western and my own thing. Not only do I mingle with my own people but I'm mingling with the rest of the people as well. I just know how to juggle both."