Exam diary: So what am I doing now? Well, I'm in our sitting room writing this article, drinking a cup of coffee, listening to Damo (Damien) Rice (trying to relax).
Mum is nagging me to study from the kitchen. It's not a bit like her; she must be feeling guilty. Last minute guilt, last minute nerves, last minute cramming - it feels like the end of the world around here.
I got up this morning at 6.55am after a ginseng-fuelled night of tossing and turning. That stuff gives me just the focus I need to worry about the Leaving all night, so that I'm good and delirious in time for desperation study the following day. To ease me into my addled second last day I watched Friends, recorded from the night before. Must keep my priorities in order - old reruns of sappy American sitcoms are just as important as The Most Important Exam Of My Life.
After breakfast I thought I'd better get down to a bit of something studious, after a little walk of course. Stay fit. Stay healthy. It's important that you do this to fuel the brain, I'm told. I am by no means a sporty person but helping dad on the farm at the weekend had its benefits. Funnily enough, it also helped me with schoolwork. I studied agricultural science for a short time during fifth year but later decided it wasn't for me. I'm not destined to become a farmer.
I hope to study business and French in college provided I get the required points, and am looking forward to becoming independent. This is probably my first big step. Just think, after this I'll be considered an adult. I can't wait.
Running through endless exam papers has been the bane of my life but I suppose it's better to get the practice in before the impending marathon. Just think of it as one for your brain.
Another piece of friendly advice - stay away from advice unless absolutely vital. Treat it like one of those days before elections - a chance to make your own frenzied and misguided decision without the white noise of other people's experience to put you right.
Don't let family members drive you up the wall. If you're anything like me, you're watching yourself from the ceiling already.
Save time today by answering all questions in monosyllables. Worry while eating. Chew fingernails while watching television, crack knuckles while pacing the room. If study is going nowhere, engage in potentially life-changing pursuits. A walk to the local village might lead you right into the heart of a bank robbery, which you might heroically foil and receive a reward so great that the Leaving is no longer necessary.
Perhaps you might happen upon a chief examiner, who will be so charmed by your company that he will pass on all he knows about English paper two. A stint on the internet might offer a new life in the form of an online degree from the Western University of central Europe, no prior qualifications required!
But these are only the eleventh hour ramblings of a desperate person. The Leaving is finally here and I can't believe it either.
Are you ready for this morning? I hope I am. After all, during six years in school something must have sunk in. Maybe I grew up?
My panda, Cuddles, is gazing at me reproachfully while I write. He obviously doesn't think so. He's known me since I was five and I haven't made much progress. I was chewing his ears and throwing him out of the cot then and well, let's just say he's had a lot to put up with this year.
