In a word . . . Fitness

I do not understand them Lord, the emaciated ones. You know who. Those among us who look more like Famine victims as they assure us they “have never felt better . . . when is the next marathon?”

Such great misery has to lie there. I have yet to meet a jolly person among them. No “ho, ho, ho”, there. It is very satisfying.

And despite thinking they look like a latter day Adonis (the men) or a Helen of Troy (the women) most appear dreadful with their bony shoulders, knobbly knees and spiky elbows, while their skin hangs loose, everywhere.

One memorable pleasure I’ve recently enjoyed occurred on meeting one such scrawny man who had been in hospital where he was told he had to put on weight to aid his recovery. Such shock as was writ on his face.

Just one more . . .

It is hard not to believe that inside every such wretched person there is a hearty soul screaming for “. . . just one more pint . . . please, please. Just one more?”

Like Sylvester the cat in that cartoon with Tweety Bird. Having given up eating birds he is tempted by an evil red-devil cat. He pleads “. . . just one more?” It is tragic.

Our fit friends hold out looking more and more like Goofy, the sliver of dog in other cartoons.

There is something masochistic about it all. They’re putting themselves through what people once did only at Lent or in November, and for an elevated purpose. Such as atonement for offences past, or to help release souls from purgatory (when it was purgatory!).

Now it’s the endless pursuit of the body perfect or health (they tell us). Possibly both. Vanity, thy marathons are legion.

But so often it can appear more like obsession which, clearly, takes over some lives as days become measured out in runs. That so many wreck their joints in the process is by the way. Pounding the pavements means that knees must. You, who will, can have it. Then, for some, to run is human but for most of us to walk is very heaven.

Fitnees, fit +ness. Fit, meaning in good physical condition, is thought to have originated from the 14th century Middle English fitten, similar to Middle Dutch vitten. The suffix -ness, donating a quality or state, is believed to have originated with the Old English -nes, itself of Germanic origin.

[ inaword@irishtimes.com ]