All across Europe, August is the wicked month when the annualfamily holiday occurs, but is it a descent into relationship hell? Frank McNally offers some tips

There's nothing like the traditional family holiday to make people long for a return to the everyday stresses of work. That relaxing fortnight in the sun can quickly degenerate, turning the nuclear family into the Joe Jacob nuclear emergency plan before your very eyes. This is an even bigger risk when travelling with in-laws and extended families.

But the worst pitfalls can be avoided by following a few simple tips.

Avoid unrealistic expectations: a basic problem with the family holiday is that people often expect too much from it. A good technique to counteract this is to have an imaginary balance sheet on which, before you leave, you subtract 20 per cent from the "expectations" column. If you're returning to a favourite haunt, you should deduct a further 20 per cent per annum for depreciation.

While you're at it, you might as well add about 50 per cent to the "financial cost" column, because you're probably deceiving yourself about that as well. Using this method, hopefully, the holiday will leave you with some happy memories under the heading "carried forward".

Either way you should get Arthur Andersen to do the audit.

Leave unnecessary stuff behind: Another big problem is the amount of baggage people bring. I'm not talking about the actual suitcases (although, speaking as a man, I never cease to be amazed at how, even for a weekend away in Galway, women tend to pack as if for a polar expedition).

I'm talking about the grudges, the simmering resentments, the memories of previous holiday disasters, and so on. It's a good idea to try and deal with these issues before you leave.

Otherwise, they're guaranteed to be waiting for you in the baggage reclaim area at Malaga Airport, or wherever you're going.

Unlike the actual suitcases, which have been flown to New Zealand by mistake.

The importance of the family unit: the "family unit" can be a useful measure for determining the periods it is safe to spend with close relatives, based on the system doctors use for alcohol consumption.

One unit could be equal to an hour of quality time, for example, although this will vary greatly from family to family. In general, mothers are known to have a particularly high capacity and can consume umpteen units a day with no harmful effects. Fathers have a somewhat lower tolerance.

But teenagers have almost no capacity at all and should confine themselves to half a unit a day at most, preferably with meals.

Prepare yourself psychologically: nobody goes to the beach without putting on sun cream, yet holiday-makers often risk intense exposure to family members with no preparation at all.

Some close relatives are sure to get under your skin on holidays, and cause premature ageing or worse.

And while there's nothing you can get from the chemist for this, mentally coating yourself with factor 30 anti-irritant cream can at least allow you to spend longer periods in the same room.

Immersing yourself in a good book at times of stress is also proven to help boost your body's natural UV defences.

Reflect on those less fortunate: When your family holiday is proving difficult, it may help to think about those less well off. Remind your children how lucky they are not to belong to the British royal family, for example, who, while on holiday in Scotland, have to appear in kilts for the press photographers, in the hopes that they won't take even more humiliating pictures of them when they're off guard.

Or remember the Clinton family, flying off at the height of the Monica Lewinsky affair, when Buddy the dog was the only member of the group who looked like he was enjoying himself. And you thought your holiday was tense?