Grown Ups

Directed by Dennis Dugan. Starring Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade, Rob Schneider, Salma Hayek 12A cert, gen release, 102 min

OF ALL the witless, puerile, offensive exercises in garbage dispersal that Adam Sandler has brought us – and he’s brought us plenty – this could be the most repulsive.

Yet it sounds so harmless. A bunch of guys travel to a lovely lakeside retreat to mourn the passing of a basketball coach who, some 30 years earlier, led them to a notable victory. Over the space of a noisy weekend, the chaps, their wives and their children reconnect with what truly matters: family, friendship, nature, generosity of spirit and so forth.

What's to abhor? Well, for starters, they are all such pompous, reactionary bores. If the gang, played by the comedy all-stars – Chris Rock, Rob Schneider, David Spade and Kevin James join Sandler – are to be believed, life was all skittles and beer in 1978. Modern kids spend too much time playing video games and talking on their mobile phones. Music now is not a patch on (oh lord, the sick-making, mild-vanilla soundtrack) the likes of Cheap Trick and Rupert Holmes. Your reviewer is olderthan these jerks and even he felt the urge to slam the door, storm up to his room and kick on the Grand Theft Auto.

Some things have changed for the better, guys. We no longer tolerate the vile attitudes to middle-aged woman displayed in the scenes between Schneider and his (Eugh! Gross!) significantly older wife. These days, any person with half a brain (not now, Rob) will see through the feeble attempts to balance the misogyny by having the assembled wives ogle a half-naked beach bum.

Mind you, some phenomena from the late 1970s are, perhaps, due a brief revival. Where’s the Baader-Meinhof gang when you need them? They’d know how to deal with this lot.