A woman who alleged her ex-partner put on gloves before producing a knife and “threatening my life” during a row over money for their baby has secured a protection order against him.
The man earlier smashed the TV, hit the woman, pulled and twisted her arm and held her against her will in her own home, she told the emergency domestic violence court at Dolphin House, Dublin.
Tusla was alerted, the woman feels unsafe, and her concern is to ensure the safety of her baby and herself into the future, she told Judge Gerard Furlong.
She lives alone with the baby and does not want the man to re-enter her home, the court was told. He lives nearby and is “in trouble” with gardaí , she added.
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“Please help protect us, I’m doing this for my child’s safety and my own,” she said.
Another woman said her ex-partner had struggled with drug addiction during their relationship. She said their young children were traumatised by his behaviour, including using drugs in their bedrooms and begging in local shops for money for drugs, she said.
He often took family money that had been intended for food, electricity and gas to pay for drugs, leaving the family without basic necessities, she said.
He subjected her to emotional abuse during their relationship, and she was “gaslit” and isolated from family and friends, she said. She had later accessed supports to deal with that and is “doing well”.
Since she separated from the man, she has been subject to harassment and stalking and threats of legal actions from some of his family members, the court heard. The man had come to her home over Easter and banged on the front door and appeared to be searching for keys, she said.
He had shown no interest in access to the children until his mother applied for access, she added. While access to the children was arranged for his mother earlier this month, she had not turned up for it, the woman said.
The children have been very affected by what they had experienced in the home, are frightened and confused and do not want a relationship with their father, she alleged.
She and the children continue to attend therapy for trauma, she said, and her goal is to provide a stable and safe space for the children.
Judge Furlong, granting a protection order, told the woman it was open to her to separately seek restraining orders against members of the man’s family.
In another case before the judge last week, an elderly woman in her 80s sought a protection order against her estranged husband. He is living with someone else, and has lived elsewhere for more than 20 years, while she remains in their jointly owned family home and is awaiting a separation, she said.
She wanted a protection order due to his “ongoing harassment and threatening behaviour”. He had never contributed to household bills and repeatedly attends at the house without permission, causing her anxiety and stress, she said.
When she has no protection order, he comes to the house demanding entry and requesting a key, she said. This behaviour was escalating, she did not feel safe at home and attends counselling weekly for stress.
Judge Furlong said he could not stop the man watching his own house, and the issue of ownership of the property would have to be addressed in separation proceedings. He would grant a protection order, primarily on welfare grounds, he told the woman. Thanking him, she said: “You’re a lovely judge.”
In a separate case, a distressed woman got an order requiring her ex-partner to return their two-year-old child to her. Choking back sobs, she said she had not seen the child for 13 days.
The man had told her, via a text message sent by his sister, that he disagreed with an access order, was not returning the child and was seeking custody, she said.
The access arrangement is part of a safety plan agreed with Tusla, she said.
Judge Furlong made an order directing the man to produce the child to the woman at a specified Garda station at a specified time on Friday. If that was not done, a bench warrant may issue for the man’s arrest, he said.
A protection order was separately granted to a man who said his wife earlier this year locked him out of their family home and changed the locks. He regained access a week later after contacting gardaí and engaging a locksmith, he said.
“She has threatened to call people she knows and have me battered,” he said.
His wife is constantly verbally abusive to him, including about his family, work and finances, he said. She smokes “weed” [cannabis] daily in front of their young children and he had engaged with Tusla about her abusive behaviour, he said.
