Chocs away as passengers left at airport

The bank merger frenzy continues unabated. Hot on the heels of last week's bids, counterbids and hostile bids in France, the Italians have got in on the act. UniCredito Italiano, which is Italy's third largest bank, has put in a $16.3billion (€17.7 billion) offer for Banca Commerciale Italiana.

Not to be outdone, Italy's biggest bank, San-Paolo-IMI announced a $9.7 billion offer for Banca di Roma. Both offers were unsolicited, though Luigi Arcuiti, the chairman of San Paolo said that their offer was "a friendly operation". (Though jobs are likely to go - UniCredit suggests 3,700 - quelle sur- prise as the French bankers would mutter to the Italians.)

The takeovers, should they go through, will create Italy's two largest banks and are expected to cause a domino effect in the market. Holders of European equities were quietly confident that this would be good for equity prices. Italian bank shares shot up after the announcements as most people expect more mergers in the future. And they're right.

However, Italy being Italy, the fashion industry wasn't to be left behind in the merger mania. Gucci Group is considering a takeover bid from LVMH Moet Hennessy Louis Vuitton (and with that name you can see that the company hasn't exactly been shy on the acquisition trail before now). The shares are at their highest level since 1997 and are as well bid as the distinctive luggage.

I don't have any Louis Vuitton luggage myself, and I was pretty glad not to have any luggage at all on my recent day trip to Britain. I flew with Ryanair so the British airport was Stansted. I think I've mentioned before that Stansted is my favourite airport after City airport. It's always bright and has an unhurried feel, a nice change from Gatwick or Heathrow. But unhurried was certainly the word last week. It wasn't Stansted's fault that Ryanair bumped our flight and couldn't be bothered to tell us that at the check-in. It wasn't Stansted's fault either that the flight we were bumped to was then delayed another hour - after they'd called us to the damned lounge. When irate passengers asked what was going on the answers were sketchy. While I've often got a Ryanair flight which leaves Dublin on time I've yet to get one that leaves Britain on time. We were told, eventually, that there was a technical hitch with the incoming plane. Then the problem was something to do with fuel. Then it was just delayed.

Passengers were divided about their feelings towards Ryanair. Well, not exactly divided, everyone was pretty annoyed and those of us who should have left Britain at 5.40 p.m. more annoyed than anyone else, but we were divided on how annoyed we should be. There was a feeling that if you'd only paid £50 for a ticket then complaints about delays weren't going to be entertained. But why?

Ryanair calls itself a low-cost airline, not a perennially delayed airline. If it thinks £50 is an acceptable price for a ticket, it should be an acceptable price for a ticket that gets you somewhere on time. But even if we'd paid a higher price, what would have happened if we'd complained? Nothing, I imagine. Only the airline industry would consider a journey which starts within 15 or 20 minutes of its designated departure time as "on time".

As most of us know, Ryanair's revenues derive from more than just the tickets. On our flight the little TV monitor flashed up a number of enticing duty free offers. These, however, were priced in sterling, which was an interesting marketing ploy. The people behind me were astounded to realise that the bottle of booze they were buying was going to cost about £2 more than they thought.

The delay provided more revenue to Stansted than Ryanair as far as I was concerned though because I didn't buy any sterling-priced duty free on the plane. I bought a magazine, sat in the lounge and snacked on chocolate. Never let it be said that you don't learn things sitting around in airports.

I told you before that chocolate sales had dipped following the Asian crisis but I predict an increase again after reading the magazine. Apparently a survey of 8,000 65-year-olds found that those who ate chocolate a few times a month lived a year longer than those who didn't eat any. So now there's a bona fide reason to stuff myself with Easter eggs this year and not feel guilty. Although I'm wondering if this only works for people who are aged 65. . . mind you, I almost aged that much with rage at the flight delay.

While I'm company bashing this week I have to inform you, with regret, that the vouchers for a free meal at McDonald's have not yet arrived. My nephews, however, want the free meal anyway. Or at least, they want me to bring them to McDonald's. So not only was I turned over by the powerchick manager, I'm also going to have to spend more money in the place. It's like Ryanair all over again - people want the product and they'll put up with appalling service to get it. Which, presumably, is why both of their share prices are riding high. Maybe one should make a hostile bid for the other. Ryanair could sell Big Macs inflight. They could price them in dollars I suppose.

Hostilities of a different sort have emerged in the World Bank where allegations from past and present employees about their treatment while with the bank have been aired. Allegedly it failed to deal properly with reports of sexual discrimination and harassment as well as mistreating people who brought bad practise to the attention of management. According to an internal report, 95 per cent of people with complaints never make an official statement. I suppose they are afraid of the outcome which befell Paul van Buitenen, the man who was the whistleblower on the EU Commission.

He was suspended on half pay and called unbalanced. The report on the EU Commission revealed an inability on the part of anyone to take responsibility for things that went on. The World Bank reports says that "managers are not held accountable for knowing or enforcing the rules".

I feel terribly cynical this week. I suppose the resignation of the Commission shows that, eventually, people may be held accountable for their actions. But since they all seem to be getting massive pay-offs, I wonder just how the pain of resignation really hurts.

I'm fed up with both Ryanair and McDonald's for their cavalier treatment of people who have handed over hardearned cash for their products but I know I'm going to end up using both companies again.

The only solace is in chocolate. But I don't have any shares in Nestle or Cadburys.

And I'm not sure about the levels of the Dow. . .

Sheila O'Flanagan is a fixed-income specialist at NCB Stockbrokers