On The Sidelines

Ah, those college kids, they don't half love a jape. But this week, Stanford University authorities have found themselves having to disown their college band, whose show before the recent football game against Notre Dame has been described "virulently anti-Irish".

As part of the pre-match entertainment, the students performed what is reported to have been a "parody on the Irish famine" (quite a trick that) before launching into a sketch which portrayed a mock debate between a Catholic cardinal and the devil.

In case anybody in the crowd hadn't got the point yet, one character in a closing scene simply described the Irish as a race of "stinking drunks".

The college has already apologised to 30 Catholic schools in the local San Jose area for the content of the show which was meant to get at the "fighting Irish" visitors and athletics director Ted Leland said that "the band crossed the line from funny to obnoxious and offensive."

Still, Scott Matissen, one of those involved in the performance, was unrepentant about the show's content, announcing that it was meant to "poke fun" at the Notre Dame mascot "and not a group of people".

"Unfortunately some people took it more seriously than was intended."

Just when you thought that the WPBSA has sorted out their own problems and could turn their attention to sorting out those of snooker, they go and surprise you.

Now, after completing a major clear out at the top and hiring in public relations gurus Michael Humphreys and Partners, a company who did extremely well at the English RFU before becoming a victim of the recent power struggle there, they have unveiled their new president.

The man responsible for heading up the organisation as it goes in search of desperately needed sponsorship (most of the prize money currently available at major tournaments is, in a rather convoluted way, actually put up by the players themselves) is none other than Lord Archer (you know, the one with the spotty back who knocks out the books).

Clearly, some very strange days indeed lie ahead for the sport.

In many countries away teams can run into problems with the local fans but this week, Corinthians, one of the bigger outfits in Brazil, had fairly significant difficulties with their own, 50 of whom ambushed the team bus as it brought players home after a 1-0 defeat in Santos.

The club spent heavily on players in the close season but after Tuesday night's defeat, only goal difference keeps them above the relegation zone in the league table and the latest setback was clearly too much for some supporters who, after using their own bus to block the roadway, attacked the team coach with sticks and rocks.

"For the first time in my life, I was scared," said midfielder Neto. "There were enormous sticks and enormous stones everywhere. I was afraid of dying."

Fortunately for him and his team-mates, the police were quickly on the scene and, after the angry fans had dispersed, the coach was given an escort for the remainder of its journey back home.

Things are, however, even worse for Argentina's national team manager Daniel Passarella who faces up to six years in jail for evading tax on the purchase of a new yacht which he recently imported into the country. Passarella is accused of smuggling, falsifying documents, evasion of VAT and importation tax and it seems highly questionable whether he will be able to travel to France with the already-qualified Argentinian team for next summer's World Cup finals.

Asked about the case, a tax official described the manager's position as "very delicate" at present.

It's been an eventful week at the South East Asian Games with accusations flying over the standard of refereeing in many of the events.

Thai team officials were particularly upset to see their competitors lose out in gymnastics, tae kwon do and boxing contests where they thought they had done well enough to win medals. In the former two sports, official protests were lodged, but in the boxing, the Thai officials said that they hadn't bothered because "it is useless, what difference would it make?"

Back home, their newspapers reported, in dismay, that the officials at the games were hopelessly biased towards the Indonesian hosts and said that the whole event had become a "shameful" farce.

In Vietnam, however, thousands of young fans took to the streets of Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City late on Tuesday night to celebrate their country reaching the semi-finals of the football tournament.

Somebody from over here should be sent out to warn the people in Vietnam not to invite the team manager to make a speech when he comes back because if they do, it'll be just like the last visit of Comrade Castro, for the current boss is none other than former Exeter, Notts County and Shelbourne boss, Colin Murphy.

Aston Villa Chairman Doug Ellis, meanwhile, has been reminiscing about the days, back in the late 1960s and early 1970s when the Birmingham club had to scrape for every penny in order to keep their heads above water.

On one occasion, apparently, Ellis made a deal that the club would receive a £3,000 bonus from a local businessman if his perimeter advertisement appeared on national television for a total of three minutes over the course of the season.

Each second was carefully logged and with home games running out, it looked like the company was going to get out of paying because little more than two minutes of airtime had been amassed.

"The next time we were on television," recalls Ellis "I asked one of our star players to go down `injured' in front of the sign and stay there for as long as possible." Sure enough, at the end of the campaign, just enough exposure had been achieved to earn the club its cheque.

One of the most talented boxers Britain has produced over the last couple of decades, Herol Graham, has fallen into the trap of making one come back too many.

The veteran hasn't been seriously hurt - yet - but the sort of opponents he is facing this time around are not quite the sort he might have expected to come up against when he was at the height of his powers.

In early December, the English- man will take on America's Vinnie Pazienza, but only as long as the twice world champion pays a $5,000 fine for hitting the referee in his last outing.

Pazienza is currently serving a 90-day suspension for the indiscretion, but the cash must be paid before the British Boxing Board of Control allows the two to meet in the glamour of the Dagenham Goresbrook Leisure Centre.

The 38-year-old American is, however, determined to evade the punishment, telling a press conference this week: "I didn't mean it, it isn't my style, but it was a local fight, there was a lot of hostility, and Rozenblatt (Dana Rozenblatt, his opponent not the referee) said a lot of things he shouldn't. Anyway, if guys can get off with a murder rap surely I can get off with hitting a referee."

Frank Maloney, Graham's promoter, is hoping to match the winner of this contest with either Robin Reid, who holds the WBC world super middleweight title, or Joe Calzaghe, who last week won the WBO version of the title when he defeated Chris Eubank.

Pazienza, who came back to the sport after breaking his neck in a car accident in 1992, is in little doubt about which of the two he would like to meet. "I want to fight Reid, he's got the WBC belt. It's green and matches the couch in my house."

A dispute has broken out in New South Wales over an agreement made by the local Olympic committee with the IOC that there would be no betting allowed on events in the forthcoming Olympic Games.

Richard Face, the minister responsible for gambling in New South Wales, is pressing for the agreement to be renegotiated claiming that it will needlessly deprive the state of millions of dollars in potential revenue while other states will be able to organise gambling regardless of the objections of the IOC.

Helpfully, an Australian Olympic Committee official said: "If anyone wants to make a bet with their mate, that's all right." So far, Face has not responded.

Finally, PROOF that TnaG's successful marketing of old GAA matches is only the tip of the sporting nostalgia iceberg, came in the United States recently where ESPN bought the Classic Sports Network for $150 million.

CSN shows nothing but old events, but has a subscription base of 10 million which is expected to rise by around 50 per cent during a major marketing drive planned for the next few months.