As notoriously stuffy establishments, golf clubs don't tend to encourage high-wattage rave music blasting from their teeing grounds. Which, we are informed, is something of a handicap for those practitioners engaged in the perennial search for greater distance with the driver.
In a recent invitational power-hitting event in Pennsylvania, six players went on the tee at the same time. And the organisers promptly cranked up the sound system.
Not only did the pulsating rhythms work onlookers into a frenzy, but one of the contestants, a certain Gerry James from California, was seen to rip the sleeves off his golf shirt and proceed to flex his biceps like a would-be Mr Universe.
And far from being put off by the racket, he and the other leading contestants smashed their drives close to 400 yards.
Before any reader is prompted to instigate moves for an extraordinary general meeting, however, let it be noted that one has to be selective about the chosen music. For instance, Tighten Up and U2's I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For should, in the immortal words of Myles na gCopaleen, be avoided like the pledge. What you're looking for are inspirational numbers such as Peter Gabriel's Sledgehammer and Great Balls of Fire by Jerry Lee Lewis.
The foregoing is prompted by the staging this week of the World Long-driving Championship in Mesquite, Nevada. Yet it is ironic that the longest drive on normal terrain was recorded not in these specialist events but in a leading seniors' tournament.
According to the Guinness Book of Golf Records, Michael Hoke Austin of Los Angeles smashed a drive of 515 yards during the US Senior Open in Las Vegas on September 28th, 1974. Then aged 64 and with a formidable frame of 6ft 2ins and 15st, he carried the ball to within a yard of the green at the 450-yard fifth hole of the Winterwood Course, and it rolled 65 yards past the flagstick in a tailwind estimated at 35 mph.
I am indebted to a reader, Louis Hogan, for his most timely contribution of an article from a recent edition of the Los Angeles Times Magazine, which carries a fascinating feature on Austin. Now 91, he is partially paralysed from a stroke but still enjoys looking at vidoes of his extraordinary swing which was once measured at 155 mph.
His power was such that he once blasted a golf ball through the Los Angeles phone book. And when asked for the secret of long driving, he replied: "Distance has little to do with size or strength. All it requires is supple quickness." He went on: "There are six types of joints and they have to work according to their design, otherwise you wind up with arthritis, tendonitis, bursitis and all the other ailments."
Clubhead release was a key element, which he learned as a youngster back in his native Guernsey in the Channel Islands. A professional told young Austin to take a stance next to a nearby bank and swing the clubhead into the wet clay. But he further instructed: "If you come back here with mud on your sleeve, I'm going to kick you right in your back end." So, to keep his sleeve clean, Austin had to stop his hands and let the clubhead fly forward into the bank. But why didn't he make a fortune at the game? "I was the worst putter on the tour," he replied. Ah, there's always a catch.
"I have always wanted to get into the Ryder Cup team and this could be my chance." Actor Hugh Grant, who is partnering European skipper Sam Torrance in the Dunhill Links Championship.
Woodbook anniversary prompts fond memories
No club has done more than Woodbrook to promote tournament golf in this country. So, its members have every reason to take pride in their 75th anniversary celebrations for which a charming booklet has been produced.
Woodbrook was the destination for Irish golfing pilgrims from the inaugural Hospitals Tournament won by Max Faulkner in 1959 to the launch of the Carrolls Irish Open won by Christy O'Connor Jnr in 1975. And along the way, there were the world record-equalling five twos (four birdies and an eagle-two at the 350-yard second) by Tom Craddock in the 1967 Carrolls International. And a first hole-in-one in tournament golf for Peter Oosterhuis in the same event in 1971, from a six-iron at the 186-yard 13th.
Then there was the seeming perennial dominance of Christy O'Connor Snr, though in fact he won there on five occasions from 1960 until his final European Tour success in 1972. That was when, as a 47-year-old, he sank a 30-foot birdie putt on the final green for a closing 67 and a four-stroke victory.
Lavishly illustrated, the booklet contains some fascinating information: for instance, the renowned operatic diva, Dame Nellie Melba, once sang at the Woodbrook Opera House on the current site. And there is a record of how Ian Stanley, winner of the Senior British Open at Royal Co Down last July, hit two balls onto the railway line for a nine on the 18th, when leading the Irish Open of 1975.
The club has been graced by distinguished amateurs in Liam MacNamara, Claire Dowling (nee Hourihane), Brennie Scannell and Pat Mulcare, and by the administrative skills of Eamonn Curran.
As captain, Malachy Martin remarked earlier this week: "Dulce est despirere in loco" : it is sweet to abandon cares in this place. We wish him and his members well, as they head on towards their centenary.
Three-year-old plays with his swing
Mighty little whacks of 80 to 90 yards have made Darren Clarke understandably proud of his son Tyrone's (right) progress at golf. But with daddy busily engaged in the Dunhill Links Championship this week, it is to be hoped that the wee lad is not neglecting the practice ground. You see competition is rather fierce among three-year-olds these days.
News from California is that a three-year-old by the name of Jake Paine has scored a hole-in-one on the 66-yard sixth at the Lake Forest course. And the left-hander went on to card a nine-hole score of 48 on the par-29 layout.
In the light of these exploits, it was hardly surprising that the parents of potential rivals should have enquired as to whether Jake gave lessons. To which he replied: "I'm sleepy. I can have more Tiger shots tomorrow." Meanwhile, candidates with their eye on Continental Europe's first staging of the Ryder Cup in 2018, have been warned.
Tee-time break with US Open Tradition
In a break with tradition going back 101 years, the 2002 US Open at Bethpage State Park, New York, is to have two-tee starts. Among other things, the change means that the Masters and the British Open are the only two major championship will continue to insist on all of the field starting on the first tee.
Though the organisers take the view that they will now have greater flexibility in the event of bad weather, it could also be viewed as a concession to slow play. Either way, in providing two more hours of daylight, it will go some way towards reducing the risk of fair contrasts in playing conditions between early morning and late afternoon.
It's called glow golf and it's the latest craze in the US. By using clear, polymer balls with miniature glow-stick inserts, enthusiasts can now beat the lengthening shadows, especially with the addition of illuminated flagsticks and tee-markers. But a particularly close eye on the ball is recommended.
This day in golf history . . . On October 20th 1972, Don Massengale shot a second-round 66 en route to victory in the USPGA Club Professionals' Championship at Pinehurst. Defending champion, Sam Snead, finished third. Massengale, whose younger brother Rik competed on the regular tour for several years, had earlier captured two official tournaments during the 1966 season - the Bing Crosby Pro-Am and the Canadian Open.
Teaser: A competitor invokes Rule 3-3 and plays a second ball. Subsequently, the competitor makes a stroke at one ball and it strikes and moves the other ball. What is the ruling?
Answer: If both balls lay on the putting green prior to the stroke, the competitor incurs a penalty of two strokes if the score with the striking ball ultimately becomes the competitor's score for the hole - Rule 19-5. Otherwise, there is no penalty.
The striking ball must be played as it lies (Rule 19-5) and the moved ball must be replaced (Rule 18-5).
