If it wasn't water, it was merciless rough with comparable card-wrecking potential which lay in wait for the weak or the wayward. All in all, there were precious few office comforts for the honest, working professional in the opening round of the £1.25 million Murphy's Irish Open at Druids Glen yesterday.
But things were decidedly different, of course, for those in command. Which would explain the presence of Colin Montgomerie on top of the leaderboard after an opening 65 which left him three strokes clear of the field and 15under-par for his last 36 holes at one of his favourite venues.
Ernie Els felt obliged to acknowledge the quality of that effort after an opening 71 which he described as a "pretty mixed bag". The recently dethroned US Open champion said: "Monty obviously loves this place and is a major contender this week." But, he warned: "Though it was a big day for him, I don't think he'll run away with it."
Six players are sharing second place on three under, including the brilliant young Spanish amateur, Sergio Garcia. Among those alongside him is the more mature but lesser known Englishman, David Lynn, currently languishing in 133rd place in the Order of Merit.
Out of the field of 156, only 24 competitors broke par. All the while, the weather was fine, the galleries large, the golf exciting and the resplendent course was brushed by a fresh, north-east wind, facing the players directly on the 476-yard sixth.
As it happened, the Irish suffered more than most. Indeed, it was left to John McHenry, a survivor of two fine challenges at Mount Juliet, to lead their sadly modest challenge with a one-under-par 70. Darren Clarke was in trouble from the start, with an opening double-bogey while Paul McGinley's main grief came at the end, in a wretched seven on the 18th.
It was a situation in which the sadistic had no need to go in search of horror stories - they presented themselves in almost every other group. If one were seeking a perverse order of merit, the quintuple nine by Seve Ballesteros at the murderous 13th, would have been hard to beat.
In good shape at one over par for the tournament at that stage, Ballesteros gained the distinction of effectively destroying his card, without getting wet. He lost his first drive in trees on the left before hitting into rough on the left. Then came a recovery wedge, a blocked seven iron into trees, a pitch to eight feet and, despite what went before, three putts which were totally unexpected.
The toll extracted by this wonderfully wicked, 471-yard par four, could be gauged from the experience there of the first eight players to start the day from the first tee. While not one of them managed to escape in regulation, they were a combined 17 over par which meant that their average score was a double-bogey.
With so many problems lurking, it was perhaps inevitable that the pace of play should have been somewhat leisurely. In the event, Lee Westwood (70), in the same group as Montgomerie and Padraig Harrington, had a bad time, which means that one further indiscretion will lead to a £500 fine and a one-stroke penalty.
Nick Faldo, whose record three successive Irish Open victories is under threat from Montgomerie this week, also got a bad time. Which, no doubt, would have come as a great comfort to him after a round of 75 - "Comment on the round? Can't think of anything. Just a lousy score."
Nor was there any comfort for the holder of six major championships in the fact that he wasn't alone in his torment. In a threeball with former team-mates Philip Walton and Ian Woosnam, his glorious Ryder Cup victory over Curtis Strange at Oak Hill in 1995 seemed a part of distant history.
Westwood, the holder's heir apparent, was pleased with a round that contained only three birdies. "Monty and me play well together, but the difference today was that he hit it closer and made more putts," said the gifted young Englishman. "I'm sure he has shot level par here at some stage, so a five-shot lead can disappear."
In fact the Scot has performed badly enough at Druids Glen to shoot a two-over-par 73 in the third round in 1996. But from Westwood's standpoint, that morsel of comfort is more than offset by seven rounds in the sixties, in his nine competitive rounds here so far.
Having spoken about the recent arrival of son and heir, Cameron, his splendid new home, his financial security and an MBE in the Queen's birthday honours last month, Montgomerie quite reasonably remarked: "If I can't be happy, there's a problem." An opening 65 was undoubtedly a help.
Where Garcia laid the basis of a brilliant 68 in a back nine of 32, Montgomerie did it with a front nine of 30 - five under par. Having started on the 10th, he reached the turn in a relatively modest 35, but the quality of his ball striking seemed destined to reap a rich harvest.
By his own admission, he had rarely hit the ball so well. "I'm confident where it is going, so I'm hitting it harder," he said with disarming simplicity. It meant a three-iron second shot of 218 yards at the 13th and a two-iron approach of 222 yards two holes later. Yet for all that, Garcia was probably just as long.
Montgomerie sank a 30-footer for a birdie at the short second; reduced the 517-yard fifth to a three-wood, seven iron and two putts, downwind, and sank putts of eight feet, 10 feet and eight feet for further birdies at the sixth, seventh and ninth.
"The course is playing quite difficult but I've taken advantage of an early start," he went on. "Still, it's only one round out of four and Lee (Westwood) is certain to be a threat."
Rocketing scores in the recent US Open at the Olympic Club, could have been reasonably attributed to some rather unsubtle, backroom trickery on an ill-suited layout. For the current test, however, there was no sleight of hand, only nature's generous embellishment of a searching, man-made challenge.
As Steven Richardson remarked: "It's unrelenting out there." Which, after all, is how it should be in a national open.
