Today's other stories in brief

Colourful Becali gets pink vote

If the players at Hearts thought they had their hands full with club owner and all-round oddball Vladimir Romanov, they should probably count their blessings that they don't play for Steaua Bucharest - next to Gigi Becali, the Steaua president, Romanov appears really quite conventional.

While Romanov threatened last week to sell all his players if they failed to beat Dunfermline (result: 1-1), Becali went a step further after Steaua lost 4-1 to Real Madrid in the Champions League earlier this month: "If any club wants to take Carlos, I would offer 100,000 dollars for them to do so," he said of his goalkeeper after the game.

Already departed from the club, according to reports last week, is an employee who had an operation to enlarge a part of his anatomy. Not his nose. The reports failed to explain quite how Becali learnt of this enhancement, but revealed that the president had sacked the employee, declaring: "You should leave people as God created them. I can't put up with something like that."

Better news, though, for the president, who once announced that he would "give two or five million dollars and we can finish all homosexuals in this country" - he was named 'Most homophobic personality in Romania' at the 2006 Gay Awards Gala.

He didn't turn up to accept his award, but we suspect he'll proudly display it on his mantelpiece if they post it to him.

Quotes of the week

"He's going to be what?! Oh for God's sake! Sir David Beckham? You're having a laugh? He's just a good footballer with a famous bird."

- Plymouth boss Ian Holloway on hearing talk of Beckham being awarded a knighthood.

"It's the first I've heard of it."

- Middlesbrough's Jason Euell on being told last week he was named as an ambassador for a charity for the deaf.

"I asked the fourth official if he was counting the time on a sundial."

- Martin Hunter, Norwich caretaker boss, after five minutes of injury-time were played in their game against QPR (during which QPR equalised).

"Tell me the English players who can run with the ball and beat a man? I can only think of Wayne Rooney, Aaron Lennon, Shaun Wright-Phillips and Joe Cole."

-- Eh, Chris Waddle? That's quite a long list.

"I don't think Jose Mourinho is a better manager than me - he's just had more opportunities. He's a top manager, but I think I am too."

- Sheffield United's Special One, Neil Warnock.

"Sorry, I got a little bit confused. I think we have already had that one."

- Trevor Brooking after giving Barnet two FA Cup ties, against Gainsborough and Dover or Bishop's Stortford, in Saturday's televised draw for the first round proper.

Match made in boardroom

Brian Clough, famously, liked his players to be married, convinced that it would keep them out of trouble. He didn't, however, actually order them to get wed, unlike Bulgarian club Litex Lovech who have given their 19-year-old bad lad Ivelin Popov a year to marry his current girlfriend, or else.

"I accept the order and I promise to do it," he, bizarrely enough, said. "My bosses are right to want such a thing from me because they know my temper. They want me thinking only about football and the marriage probably will help me to calm down. I know I'm a very bad boy and I want to meet my 20th birthday as a married man. My girlfriend is very nice and very smart. I think this will be the woman of my life, so don't remind me of my past, please," he said.

Popov is known to be a touch volatile and, apparently, has had more girlfriends than hot dinners, which makes you think if his current love is indeed "very smart" she'll say, "Thanks for asking, but not on your nelly" when he pops the question.

More quotes of the week

"Defoe was nibbling his arm, but if you ask Mascherano to show you any marks on it he will not be able to. Mascherano had kicked Jermain from behind three times and Defoe wanted to show his frustration in a nice, comical way."

- Spurs manager Martin Jol after Jermain Defoe dined on Javier Mascherano at White Hart Lane.

"Defoe showed a bit of bite tonight. He got his teeth into us."

- Martin Allen after the Spurs man made a meal of his MK Dons side in the League Cup, scoring twice.

"He's like a second wife."

- Blackburn's Benni McCarthy on his bigamous relationship with Jason Roberts.

"There was a lot of argy-bargy, but that was about it. There was a row lasting about two minutes in the changing room, but I'm not saying if he did or didn't pull out a razor."

- Ade Akinbiyi on his close shave with team-mate Claude Davis after training.

"It seems like the devil is always trying to get God's child. People can keep trying to bring me down but they will never catch me."

- Portsmouth's personal messiah, Lomana LuaLua.

"We passed like ships in the night. He was a huge, rich yacht and I was a little rowing boat."

- Graeme le Saux, who left Chelsea just as Roman Abramovich sailed in.

Laurent singing Toon praises

It's just over a year since Laurent Robert bid adieu to Newcastle and joined Levante in Spain, where Ian Harte also plays his football.

Alas, it seems like Laurent hasn't entirely settled in his new home, this come-and-get-me (back) plea hinting he's pining for the north-east of England: "When I think of my time at Newcastle United I can think of only one word - fantastic. I really loved my time there as I enjoyed English football and I would love to come back if Mr Shepherd would have me. There was only one reason why I left Newcastle and that was Graeme Souness."

So, we wonder, how will Newcastle chairman Freddy Shepherd respond to this plea? We can't be certain, but when Laurent left the club this is what a non-tearful Freddy said: "You should only say good things when somebody leaves. Robert has gone - good!"

Laurent? Don't hold your breath waiting for that call.