If, as David Winner argues in his intriguing analysis of Dutch football, Brilliant Orange, the type of football played in a particular country is an extension of that society, then the Dutch manager Louis van Gaal will have been somewhat perplexed by what he should tell his players to expect to meet in the Estadio das Antas in Porto late tonight.
Portugal is currently engulfed in a bout of self-hatred over the number of deaths suffered on its roads each week. Over the past 25 years the official estimate is that 56,000 people have died in traffic accidents - seven a day - the latest of which killed 15 on Monday. "It's like a civil war," said the chief anti-car campaigner, who then cited recklessness as the main culprit. "We drive like car thieves," he said. It is not very Dutch.
Van Gaal, like so many of his compatriots, likes and demands order. The system is the ultimate player and van Gaal gets angry quickly about anything that mucks things up, be it an individualistic streak or just bad organisation. Consequently, when he saw the waterlogged state of the training facilities allocated to the Netherlands yesterday, van Gaal immediately had officials from the Dutch FA onto FIFA. Not that one wet pitch should distort the pattern of a game between two settled sides, as van Gaal accepted, but he could have done without it.
Yet if it took Dutch minds off Portugal for a second that might be no bad thing. No less than Dennis Bergkamp has reminded his former international colleagues of the danger of the Portuguese, as if they needed it after the 2-0 home defeat in Rotterdam last October. "Portugal are a massively underrated force in world football," said Bergkamp. "They are pretty much complete now."
Bergkamp went on to make an argument for Portugal soon becoming either European or even world champions. There are no such statements emanating from the Portuguese, manager Antonio Luis Oliveira opting to focus on the forward thinking of his opponents.
"The Dutch are not capable of playing defensively," Oliveira said. "After what we achieved in Rotterdam they are really going to come after us." Even though he has lost Everton's Abel Xavier, Oliveira has defenders such as Fernando Couto and Carlos Secretario to call upon. He has also recalled Helder, once briefly of Newcastle United, now one of those whose passports are being investigated at Spanish champions Deportivo La Coruna.
In concentrating on this area of the contest Oliveira is duplicating the Dutch fascination. Their whole recent debate since Bergkamp's retirement is about who should partner Patrick Kluivert up front. Despite his scoring deeds at Leeds United and Chelsea, the Dutch distrust Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink. He has been virtually ignored by van Gaal and his predecessor Frank Rijkaard until last Saturday against Andorra.
Kluivert's comments have not helped the Chelsea player. "With Bergkamp I felt like we were on a tandem," Kluivert said when the squad gathered a week ago, "now I feel like I am on the tandem on my own." Just for good measure Kluivert added that he did not know what Hasselbaink would do whenever Hasselbaink gained possession. Unpredictability is not the quality they're after.
It is more likely that Marc Overmars and Boudewijn Zenden will accompany Kluivert as wingers: a Barcelona triumvirate.
That is evidence of the class still within Holland, plus Jaap Stam is back after missing the October game. Van Gaal, however, will be aware of the former Barcelona player on the other team, Luis Figo. No car thief he. More like a magician.
