On The Premiership: Bryan Robson invented a new colour on Saturday. It was a vivid mix of not-quite red and almost-purple and should now become standard for all managers who are pushed close to the point of spontaneous combustion by events which, though taking place just yards in front of them, remain maddeningly uncontrollable.
Robson's moment of creative genius was sparked by the sight of Chelsea's Didier Drogba writhing in apparent agony after being flicked by Jonathan Greening's trailing leg. Within moments, the West Brom manager had become embroiled in a frenzied bout of finger-jabbing with Jose Mourinho and had to be restrained by his coaching staff.
Such flashpoints are inevitable as the season hurtles towards its end zone, but Robson's ire may also have been fuelled by resentment. On Friday, he expressed his concern that English managers were not being given the chance to prove themselves at top clubs. There was even the tentative suggestion that he could surpass Mourinho's achievements if only he were permitted the opportunity.
There were several gaping holes in Robson's argument, but perhaps the biggest is that the success of foreign managers is largely down to the financial clout of their chairmen. "How would they fare at West Brom?" he wondered. "Is it all about the coaching?" The short answer is: yes.
Mourinho may now resemble Scrooge McDuck - the Disney creation who spent most of his time plunging in and out of a gargantuan money bin - but he forged his reputation at Uniao Leiria, the Portuguese equivalent of Wimbledon. Liverpool's Rafael Benitez, for his part, did not have two euro to rub together at his first long-term appointment, CF Extremadura.
The point is that these men were only allowed the privilege of a blank chequebook once they had established their reputation as coaching alchemists. Mourinho took Leiria into Europe; Benitez led Extremadura to promotion and Valencia to the La Liga title; Martin Jol worked wonders on the shortest of shoestrings at RKW Waalwijk before moving to cash-rich Tottenham. They were not given plum jobs because of their nationality: they were simply the best men available.
Robson begs to differ, but the merest glance at his managerial record is enough to confirm that he does not yet deserve to be handed control of one of the Premiership elite. There have been notable triumphs - promotion with Middlesbrough and averting relegation at West Brom - but the memory of those highs has become blurred.
Relegation with Boro in 1997 was unforgivable: a squad containing Fabrizio Ravanelli, Juninho, Emerson and Nick Barmby should have been jostling for European places rather than slumming it at the foot of the table. Then there was the embarrassing appointment of Terry Venables as Robson's advisor in 2000, a tacit admission that he was not up to the job.
This is not to suggest that he will not, one day, graduate from the Premiership B list. But Robson is perhaps the most high-profile example of the deluded belief that a glittering playing career is a necessary prelude to managerial greatness.
Robson stepped into the dugout on Teesside in 1994 weighed down by 90 England caps and a stack of medals with Manchester United. His popular sobriquet "Captain Marvel" was plucked straight from the world of comic-book superheroes.
Burdened with such a reputation, is it any wonder that he has struggled to carve his own reputation as a coach? Tellingly, four of the five men who currently peer down on the rest of the Premiership were not noted for their on-field feats. Jol was a talented midfielder, winning three caps with Holland, but he could never claim entrance to a Dutch hall of fame. Benitez's playing career was spent in Spain's lower leagues while Wenger and Mourinho hardly kicked a ball in anger.
Inauspicious beginnings have not hindered their progress as managers. On the contrary, all four - perhaps fired by the desire to prove themselves in a world they never cracked as players - have used their distance from the closeted environs of the dressingroom to their advantage.
Wenger's lack of a long professional career allowed him to study the benefits of sports science and fitness conditioning, while Mourinho's work as a translator allowed him to study at close quarters managerial masters such as Bobby Robson and Louis van Gaal. Benitez chose to take care of Real Madrid's youth teams before daring to tackle a more senior post.
Robson never afforded himself that luxury. For the first four years of his managerial reign at Middlesbrough he was still one of the club's key players and that wearying work-load probably ensured that his first appointment ended in failure.
It is not too late for him to salvage his reputation, nor for West Brom to avoid relegation, but perhaps he would be better advised to learn from the Premiership's foreign legion rather than attacking them.
