We’re awful quick to castigate our telly pundits and commentators, never conceding that when we make bold predictions in the course of a game that fall flat on their faces – like, say, Clare have a chance here, Leinster are home and hosed or there’s no way back for Liverpool – we’re doing so from the anonymity of the couch in our livingrooms and not actually broadcasting to the planet.
And when we scunder players, maybe even going so far as to question their parentage, their mammies will never know about it, so it won’t be awkward if we bump in to them.
“Did she tell you to leave her son alone,” Joanne Cantwell asked Dónal Óg Cusack after we learned that he had encountered the mother of Clare’s Adam Hogan, about whom he has occasionally been a touch critical, before his county’s meeting with Limerick in Ennis.
“She did,” said Dónal Óg. “And mammies are always right, so message received.”
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And then Dónal Óg turned his thoughts to the game, and we were half expecting him to predict that Adam would produce the greatest individual performance in the history of hurling. Instead, he wondered out loud about the state of this Limerick team. “There’s a bit of a wobbly feel about them.” Half-time: “Limerick are rolling back the years.” Full-time: “They haven’t gone away, you know.”
See? After they had annihilated Clare, all of antisocial media was probably going “hahahahahaha” at Dónal Óg ever doubting Limerick, even if that might not have been unreasonable in light of the absence of Cian Lynch and Aaron Gillane. By full-time, Clare would have been left wondering what might have been done to them if Lynch and Gillane had been available.
Ryle Nugent had a bit of a Dónal Óg himself on Saturday during Leinster’s Champions Cup semi-final. It’s not that he bumped in to the mother of Josh van der Flier or Jean-Baptiste Gros, it’s that he indulged in some chicken-counting when that Caelan Doris try put Leinster 27-11 up with 13 minutes to go.
“Leinster’s captain has surely secured their place in the Champions Cup final!” By now, Ryle was probably on his phone booking his Bilbao flights and accommodation.
And then Toulon scored two tries in six minutes, converting them both, there were only four points in it and French tails were decidedly up. You could hear the hush in the Aviva from the couch.
“It’s got very, very interesting,” Ryle whispered, in a mother-of-sweet-divine-Jesus kind of way, “and if you’re a Leinster fan, very very worrying. What looked impossible for Toulon now looks ... possible.”
It did too, but Leinster held on, perhaps the tension of it all the reason for Leo Cullen having a grumpy ‘You’re all out to get us’ head on him after the game. Hopefully his mood will have lightened by the time they meet up with Bordeaux in three weeks’ time, although he’ll probably expect the Irish media to turn up in Begles shirts.
But a lesson learned. A game is not actually won until it is. Like at Old Trafford on Sunday when United went 2-0 up against Liverpool and Gary Neville was already kissing his badge, declaring that they could have it all wrapped up by “three or four” before half-time. Ten minutes to the second half: 2-2.
Roy Keane certainly hadn’t seen that coming at the break. “Liverpool are like a five-a-side team, but a bad five-a-side team,” he said, seeing no way back for Arne Slot’s crew unless United did something daft. Which they did. Twice.
But United did a kind of a Leinster, withstanding a comeback to prevail, ably assisted by Kobbie Mainoo’s winner.
The post-match chat centred on Michael Carrick’s future at the club. In Sky’s ‘Fanalysis’ poll, 77 per cent wanted him to be given the job on a permanent basis, while 72 per cent wanted Arne sacked – the 28 per cent who called for him to stay were presumably United fans.
Roy rolled his eyes at this Fanalysis lark, but it’s probably being scrutinised in the United and Liverpool boardrooms as we speak. Maybe casting judgments from the anonymity of the couch in our livingrooms is the future?
