Puzzle of why some get away with crass talk

FROM TIME to time, I have moments when the consensus genuinely takes me by surprise

FROM TIME to time, I have moments when the consensus genuinely takes me by surprise. I didn't realise until I read it in the paper I was supposed to be angry about TV3. I think Noel Dempsey is entitled to a holiday. I think it's impractical to expect the country to cope with weeks of sub-zero temperatures when I haven't worn that faux fur coat in the back of the wardrobe for five years, writes SARAH CAREY

And I don't understand for the life of me how Colm Tóibín got away with rewriting history and being bizarrely crude on the Marian Finucane Showon RTÉ Radio 1 on Sunday. He made a number of comments on the Iris Robinson scandal, one of which was unbelievably inappropriate and another that was outstandingly wrong. But the strangest thing was the reaction: none. I was staring at the radio in shock but it sounded like no one in the studio flinched.

The first thing he did was joke about Kirk McCambley. He remarked on how Kirk “had presented himself” and said if “he’d opened a coffee shop near me I’d go and have a frappachino there”. Tóibín also said if he had a choice between going home with Peter Robinson “who seems to work very hard” and going out with Kirk, then “he’d go out with Kirk”. Finucane added: “You think you would?” and laughed in a knowing, bawdy tone that confirmed she’d heard the same thing I did: the flirty innuendo in his voice.

Now, the whole Robinson thing is ripe for parody and I’m more than capable of appreciating the humorous side of sex, but I was cringing. Surely remarks by a 55-year-old gay man about a 21-year-old straight guy on RTÉ radio that failed to rise above “Oh you would, would ya?” are just too coarse for Sunday morning radio? And what does he mean about how Kirk “presented himself”?

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As far as the Iris-Kirk relationship goes, we’ll never know who was exploiting whom. But imagine if a 59-year-old male politician was sleeping with the 19-year-old daughter of his dead lover. Imagine if he took money from property developers in need of planning permission to set her up in business and then demanded the cash back when he got caught.

Imagine if someone like, say, Conor Lenihan, cracked a joke about how he'd go round to the young one's place for coffee anytime, [fnar, fnar]. There'd be war. A Livelineshow would be cued up and the advisers would be busy scripting the apology.

So why can Tóibín say it and get a few laughs? Because it fits into the popular narrative that young women are perpetual victims but young men are consensual toy boys? Because Tóibín brought a touch of the Graham Norton to his tone thus rendering McCambley’s apparent status as inadvertent gay icon quite harmless?

But the next thing was stranger. Tóibín dismissed the significance of the week’s events and reminded everyone that since he was gay, Iris Robinson’s remarks on homosexuality were the only issue that bothered him. A tad egocentric, but I’d forgive that.

In June 2008, Robinson referred to homosexuality in medieval terms, describing it as an “abomination”. She claimed she had a “lovely man” in her office who could “turn around” homosexuals so they could “become heterosexuals”. Worse, she said that “there can be no viler act, apart from homosexuality and sodomy, than sexually abusing innocent children”. Apart from – think about that.

Tóibín said he wasn’t concerned that Robinson had said these things, but that when “someone in public life speaks as she did, using the Bible, and there is silence all around and it’s accepted all around”.

But that’s complete nonsense. There wasn’t silence all around. It wasn’t accepted. There was uproar. There was a police investigation. The psychiatrist who could supposedly cure gay people had to resign. The controversy was covered widely in the press both here and in the UK.

She was condemned by everyone from gay rights campaigners to Sinn Féin. It’s true she kept her job, but she’s a right-wing religious conservative. Her voters would agree with her views and, indeed, elect her because of them. And the reason she’s on her way out of that job now is because her behaviour is in contradiction to the Bible-based values she espouses.

So why, when he was so completely wrong, did no one in the studio say anything? In fact, Gillian Bowler rushed in to “echo” his views, however mad.

It seems that Colm Tóibín has become, perhaps unknowingly, and maybe even unwillingly, one of those people who can say whatever he wants and other people presume that simply because he’s said it, it’s okay. Worse, it’s become truth. I think this is what Eamon Dunphy used to call “Official Ireland”. Some people can say things and others cannot. Colm Tóibín can. Conor Lenihan cannot.

So, what exactly is the process by which someone achieves this status, because I’d like to apply. Is it just about writing prize-winning books? Does being gay help or does a lifetime of expressing liberal opinions create immunity for the times that one might slip up? Or is it just age? In 20 years will people have permission to laugh at whatever Conor Lenihan comes out with? Answers on a postcard, please.