Shane Hegartylooks back on the events of the past year, and picks his highlights and lowlights, from Bertie's mea culpa to Joe Dolan's os coxae.
The phrase
Twink had been famous for many things before this year: panto, a Fine Gael ardfheis. But now there is a generation which knows her solely as the woman who gave the world the phrase "zip up your mickey". When an enraged phone call to her estranged husband, following his fathering of a child with another woman, was leaked on the internet, the controlled, creative display of rage turned her into a cult superstar. It inspired dance tracks and T-shirts and was the Irish viral hit of the year. And, in the true spirit of the diva, Twink somehow came out of it looking quite dignified.
The bargain
There were some big auctions over the year. The Independence auction sold off republican memorabilia at big prices, while Irish art piled on value. But nothing could quite match the unique item that appeared on eBay in May: Joe Dolan's hipbone (os coxae). And if that wasn't enough, it was signed not only by Joe but also by Podge and Rodge. Having had his gyration-worn hip replaced, Joe used the old one to raise cash for charity. Some 96 bids later and it was on its way - for a mere €680 - to the mantelpiece of "Dannytkm65". Now he owns that, he'll be a tough man to buy for this Christmas.
The brass neck
Only one man could make the privatisation of Aer Lingus more controversial than it was. Shortly after its flotation, Michael O'Leary burst on to the scene with an audacious takeover bid, and the drama went up several thousand feet. Ryanair tried to woo shareholders, while Aer Lingus pilots responded by buying enough shares to trigger fears that it might destabilise their pension fund. Ryanair managed to buy a sizeable stake in the company, but was unable to persuade shareholders to hand over control. During all of this, Aer Lingus's share price went up quicker than a 747, even if Ryanair's bid eventually failed to get off the ground.
The comeback
Forget about Michael Barrymore or Take That; far more worthy was the return of the man who had taken to introducing himself: "My name is Al Gore and I used to be the next president of the United States." An Inconvenient Truth - Gore's warning about global warming - became one of the most successful documentaries of all time. He is the new voice of environmentalism, and there was even talk of him running for president again. When George W Bush was asked if he would see the movie, he replied: "Doubt it."
The good idea
It's still little more than a year since YouTube made its official debut, but in October search engine giant Google bought the company for $1.65 billion in stocks. It bagged a site which attracts 20 million visitors a month to its home-made videos, movie and TV highlights and music videos. The site was a blessing to the more traditional media, as less savoury videos of "happy slapping", speeding cars and the like made for regular "isn't it awful" stories.
The bad idea
Who could have guessed that a protest by republicans against a unionist march on O'Connell Street, when construction work had left rubble within easy reach, could end in a riot? Not the Garda Síochána, it seems. On a Saturday afternoon in February, Dublin city centre descended into several hours of mayhem that dragged in terrified shoppers as well as opportunistic looters. The PD offices were targeted. Charlie Bird ended up in hospital. And anyone with a camera phone made sure to put the whole thing on YouTube for all to see.
The gadget
When the Nintendo Wii made an appearance on the Late Late Show, Pat Kenny used its innovative paddles to throw a couple of weak virtual punches at a computer-game boxer, before allowing his character to be pummelled repeatedly. Aside from acting as a handy metaphor for Kenny's chat-show career, it introduced a game console that, as well as being the cutting edge of home gaming, has been touted as a way for kids to slump in front of the television while simultaneously getting exercise. There have since been reports of black eyes and muscle strains. The first court case can't be far behind.
The match
The Leinster-Munster Heineken Cup semi-final never matched expectations, while Ireland's humiliating defeat in Cyprus remains too painful to revisit. So, it's yet another year in which Dublin's football team will be remembered for being part of the match of the year - while not actually winning it. Instead, the victory in the All-Ireland football semi-final went to Mayo after a match in which fortunes swung outrageously. For the first 10 minutes of the second half Dublin were unstoppable - streaking seven points ahead. Then they didn't score for another 21 minutes, during which time Mayo took the role of snail overtaking the hare. Mayo went on to play, and lose, the final against Kerry; the 2006 Championship had already peaked.
The meltdown
Mel Gibson's drunken rant, when stopped by Los Angeles traffic police in July, managed to insult pretty much everyone. It was anti-Semitic ("Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world!"), sexist (to female cop: "What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?") and hurtful to property developers ("I own Malibu!"). "My life is f***ed," he concluded in a moment of tequila-tinged clarity. Yet, his new movie, Apocalypto, is riding high at the box office, so expect similar meltdowns from other stars in 2007.
The interview
It might have been Brendan Gleeson's explosive polemic about the state of the health service, delivered on the Late Late Show. But nothing brought the country to a halt in the way that Bertie did when he went all doe-eyed and came all over all hurt and humble in the wake of the revelations about payments he had received. It was only a dig-out from old pals helping a guy on his downers, he explained. And it worked a treat. Ireland had its very own Diana.
The child
"David is finally getting the nanny he's always deserved," one cartoon read when David Banda (right, with Madonna and her other children, Lourdes and Rocco) was flown from Malawi to his new home with Madonna and Guy Ritchie. The pop singer claimed it would help an abandoned child in a direct way. Critics said she had bought the latest must-have fashion accessory. And the child's father said a great deal of things, often contradictory, but all adding to the general tawdriness of the episode. Meanwhile, the media circus surrounding the adoption made this less of the fairytale it might have been.
The disease
For much of the first half of 2006 we were obsessed with bird flu - more precisely, H5N1. It was winging its way towards us, and we appeared to be doomed. Cases were reported to be creeping ever closer until, in April, dead swans in Scotland sent us into a flap, and dead birds were reported over Ireland. Once it became clear that migratory patterns had stopped its spread, the story dropped from the news and hasn't reappeared. It's still killing people in Asia, but our panic has passed - at least until someone sees a sneezing duck in Rathmines.
The cultural lowlight
Only the unpatriotic suggested that the Ryder Cup was not the greatest, most awesome, most ground-shaking event to arrive on these shores since the dawn of time. And, sure enough, it was a bit of fun. But golf has never laid claim to be being a particularly stylish sport, and, taking that as its cue, the opening ceremony offered cringe-making Celtic mysticism, Sharon Ní Bheoláin as a robot from the future and wives and girlfriends in uniforms. It was as if the Lord of the Rings had a baby with Fortycoats, having first got it on with a couple of the Stepford Wives.
The mistake
If you have a reputation as a shady character with an itchy trigger figure, it doesn't help to go around shooting your friends in the face. In February, while hunting quail on his Texas ranch, US vice-president Dick Cheney shot 78-year-old Harry Whittington in a mishap during which Cheney mistook the loyal campaign contributor for a mid-sized game bird. Whittington ended up in intensive care; however, he not only refused to blame Cheney but actually took the blame. Which moved comedian Jon Stewart to ask just how powerful a man do you have to be to shoot another man in the face and have that person say, "My fault"?
The thing adults didn't understand
Every year needs a trend that acts as a generational gap, and Bebo was good enough to put itself forward for the role. A social networking site in which (mainly teenage) users could post pictures, comments, music and whatever else young people are into these days, it is currently the second most popular site in Ireland. It became a handy place for older people to visit if they wanted to know what interests the youth of today - while having all their prejudices confirmed.
The way to go
Given that Steve Irwin had earned his name wrestling with the more dangerous occupants of planet earth - sharks, crocodiles, snakes, and the like - it was rather ironic to hear the news that he left this world having been killed by a stingray, an animal far less bloodthirsty than its name suggests. Soon after, there were several reports of mutilated stingrays washing up after revenge attacks. Australia went into mourning - with one exception. "The animal world has finally taken its revenge on Irwin," quipped Germaine Greer.
The statistics
We learned this year that the Irish spend more on their phones than anyone other than the Japanese. That we spend more on Christmas than anyone else at all. That a third of us would consider having cosmetic surgery. That tourists say we have the second most courteous drivers in the world, but the worst roads. That the average life expectancy for the Irish woman is 81, five years longer than for men. And that we are the second happiest people in Europe, beaten only by the Dutch. We could catch up with them in 2007, but it would require a relaxation of certain laws.