Miriam Lord’s Week: Enda may have a date with St Brigid

“Are we there yet? Are we there yet?”

Never mind the countdown to Christmas. Leinster House is frozen in the grip of election date speculation.

Again.

A number of possibilities are doing the rounds.

Some say Enda will return to Kildare Street after the Yuletide break and immediately dissolve the Dáil.

Which means an election in early February.

The argument for this strategy can’t be dismissed. Budget tax cuts will be appearing in the first pay packets of the new year.

Following the Christmas recess, the political climate should be relatively calm. By shutting up shop without delay, the Taoiseach won’t have to fret about some last minute controversy blowing up in his face, while also denying the Opposition a last chance to embarrass the Government in the Dáil.

However, should he choose this course of action, it means Fine Gael will have to forgo its party conference in late January.

Not exactly an insurmountable loss.

Of course, there is always March. Such is the obsession these days with naming a date, some have begun to agonise over when spring actually begins.

The Taoiseach has insisted he will be calling the general election in the spring. But when does the season start?

These days, apparently, it doesn’t begin until March.

But that’s a tricky month, with the Easter Rising centenary bunfight on the horizon and the annual visit to the White House to be considered.

Any prospective taoiseach with an eye to matters ceremonial would be cutting it fine by choosing March.

Following the election, how long might negotiations on the formation of a new government last? A 1916 platform on O’Connell Street might be achievable, but Washington would almost certainly be out.

The Americans are not keen on dealing with semi-official heads of government.

If Enda, who is hot favourite to become the first Fine Gael taoiseach to win a second consecutive term, wants to visit Barack Obama again next year, he will need to be formally installed as taoiseach before heading over with the shamrock.

So a February poll.

When will he call it?

Enda is a sentimental soul. And he likes tradition.

In 2011, Brian Cowen dissolved Dáil Éireann on St Brigid’s Day – Lá Fhéile Bríde. “The Celtic year turns, bringing new hope, new possibility, new life,” gurgled opposition leader Enda before the announcement.

February 1st would bring continuity. It would also allow Fine Gael to hold their conference on the weekend of January 22nd and Labour to do likewise the week after.

Then the Taoiseach could come into the Dáil on the following Tuesday and fire the starting gun.

This will have the added pleasure of spiking Sinn Féin’s guns. The party has planned its ardfheis for the first weekend in February, but if the campaign is officially under way it will not be televised and reports will be curtailed because of the strict election broadcasting rules.

Talk turns to pigeons and mushrooms as term fades

With the Dáil teetering on the verge of nervous collapse as deputies contemplate the election, the unsung committees are working away.

The Public Accounts Committee was still awaiting figures from the Department of Public Expenditure relating to the cost and projected costs of the Fennelly and IBRC inquiries. Members had hoped they would be available following assurances from the department’s secretary general, Robert Watt.

“We want as much complete information as we can get. That’s what we were promised last week . . . We will send a pigeon across to Mr Watt’s office and see if we can get that information from him,” said chairman John McGuinness.

“That pigeon’s died on a number of occasions,” remarked John Deasy.

Chairman: “I think he was shot. The pigeon was shot.”

Deasy: “A lot of pigeons have been sent over there but none have come back.”

Chairman: “Perhaps we should speak to the pigeon- keeper and ask him to make sure that a robust pigeon is sent out.”

Or maybe they should have a word with somebody in IT.

Meanwhile, Fianna Fáil leader Micheál Martin returned to a phrase he first used in May when welcoming Bobby Aylward back into the parliamentary fold following the Carlow-Kilkenny byelection.

“As a humble Cork man traversing the plains of Kilkenny, I had to eat a lot of humble pie along the way while meeting one hurling giant after another, all of whom feigned concern about the state of Cork hurling. They needn’t worry because the mushroom may fade, but Cork hurling never will.”

On Thursday, when joining the tributes to retiring usher Bernard Hand, Micheál noted that Bernard was a life-long supporter of the Dubs. In fact, as Seanad Cathaoirleach Paddy Burke pointed out in the Upper House, Bernard pulled on the Dublin jersey at senior level and was also a senior club and intercounty referee.

From the canvass to the catwalk

The Annual Oireachtas Christmas Fashion Show is upon us again.

A sizeable contingent of TDs and Senators will be strutting their stuff in the Shelbourne Hotel next month as they take a break from canvassing to earn some money for charity.

Minister for the Disapora Jimmy Deenihan first had the idea for the event when his friend and Fine Gael colleague the late Nicky McFadden was diagnosed with motor neurone disease in 2012.

He says the popular Fine Gael TD for Longford- Westmeath had a great interest in clothes design and was fully behind the plan to rope politicians into a fashion show to raise funds for research into the disease.

More than €20,000 was raised the last time and a large number of TDs and Senators have signed up to do some modelling. Most of them seem to be feeling pretty confident about stepping out in front of a large audience of discerning fashion people. It’s something to do with reaching pre-election fighting weight thanks to weeks walking the streets on the canvass.

Two Government Ministers are heading up the cast of prancing lovelies in December. No prizes for guessing that Leo Varadkar and Simon Coveney will be involved in some competitive sashaying along the catwalk, trying to outdo each other in the exaggerated walks department.

Tickets cost €50 and are available from bernadette.lee@taoiseach.gov.ie.