IF THINGS HAD gone according to plan, Mags Kelly and her husband Alan Cunningham could have been travelling to Vietnam this summer to meet their new baby daughter, writes ALISON HEALY
Instead, they are in a limbo because Ireland’s bilateral adoption agreement with Vietnam lapsed on May 1st after five years.
Kelly says she fully understands the need to ensure that the adoption process is beyond reproach but asks why the Irish Government did not act earlier, so that its concerns could have been addressed before the agreement lapsed.
“It’s extremely disappointing for the whole family,” she says. “We have two little fellas here who are very aware of the process and excited about it.”
The couple live in Letterkenny, Co Donegal, with their sons, Jamie and Eoin. Although they have children, they always wanted to adopt. “We felt it could bring lots of benefits for all concerned, and wouldn’t it be great to add to our family in that way,” she says.
They decided to act on that motivation three years ago when they moved back from London and she gave up her job.
On learning that international adoption was their only option, they embarked on an intensive process of assessment, home study, interviews and document- gathering.
The couple met people who had adopted from Vietnam and were impressed by the regulations that had been put in place between the two countries.
Irish adoptions in Vietnam are arranged by the Cork-based Helping Hands Adoption Mediation Agency, a not-for-profit body licensed by the Adoption Board of Ireland and the Vietnamese government.
Kelly says she is “hugely aware” of the birth parents in all of this and thinks that contact should be maintained with them, if possible, after the adoption.
Last June, the couple got their declaration of eligibility and suitability which meant they had been approved by the Adoption Board. The next step would be to get a referral from Vietnam but referrals stopped on May 1st.
Kelly had been hoping to travel to Vietnam in the summer and bring home their daughter five or six weeks later.
“But you can’t even allow yourself to think about that. Now it’s all up in the air and I believe 270 families are in a similar position in Ireland alone,” she says.
Alarm bells began ringing in December when Kelly read a newspaper article raising concerns over Vietnamese adoptions. She rang the Department of Health and Children but was told the situation was in hand. If a solution had not been found by May, an interim arrangement would be put in place.
Kelly says the welfare of the Vietnamese children is her main concern. The report of the Commission to Inquire into Child Abusereleased on Wednesday highlights the need to put children first in any adoption process, she says.
She would take no part in a process that involved child trafficking or illegal payments. “That’s why we picked Vietnam, because it was extremely well regulated.”
Kelly can’t understand why the Irish Government should have allowed the agreement to lapse. Now they sit and wait in Donegal for news of a new bilateral agreement and wonder if their baby has been born yet in Vietnam.
“Her room is ready. We bought little bits of clothes for her and the lads are minding little things for her. It’s all part of the preparation and it’s a very happy thing to do.”
It’s not just families that are touched by an adoption, she says. “Whole communities are involved. I heard of one case where people were returning to Donegal from Vietnam and there were fires burning on the hills to welcome the child.”