The best of times, the worst of times

Brenda Fricker describes how she overcame TB

Brenda Fricker describes how she overcame TB

Actor Brenda Fricker was born in the shadow of tuberculosis (TB). "My mother was dying of TB when I was born in February and we were told that one or other of us would be dead by Christmas. Fortunately we both survived.

"As children we used to spend time in the summer with grandparents in Kerry and would drink the milk in the bucket still warm from the cow. When we were told not to, we did it in secret, I think that may have been relevant to my later TB."

At the age of 14, Brenda was in a car accident, suffered major head injuries and spent two years in the Meath Hospital. "I missed a lot of school, my head was in a vice which made studying difficult. So when I finally came home and began to feel tired, people put it down to the accident. I remember dragging myself upstairs one evening and saying to my mother, 'there is something seriously wrong with me', and her telling me to pull myself together! A locum diagnosed flu but when our own lovely GP, Dr Jackson, came back a few weeks later, he just stood at the foot of the bed and said I had TB.

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"Then began an interesting social battle and I heard my parents arguing for the first time. My mother wanted to nurse me at home but my father said No, and I ended up pretty quickly in Blanchardstown." She was prescribed bedrest, fresh air and medication. "There was no pain, but I was demented with boredom. There was one lovely thing. We were allowed two visits of one hour a week on Friday evening and Sunday afternoon. My father [Irish Times journalist Desmond Fricker\] couldn't come on Sunday because he presented a radio programme, so I had him all to myself for an hour on Friday evening which was wonderful."

Brenda was discharged after 10 months and at 17 began rebuilding her life. "It was difficult and the illness dented my confidence a lot. First of all, they fed you up with gallons of milk and stones of spuds so you felt like a big, fat eejit. I had lost out on those years with friends when you're into clothes and make-up, and it may be a cliché but it did leave me with a shyness, a social unease which I can still have.

"But I made a complete recovery. I seem to be associated with illness and have suffered from depression, but I am as healthy as a pig today and there may be a value in getting your illnesses over early!

"I was aware of stigma, but now when I talk to people about TB, it's a bit like alcoholism, everyone had someone in their family with it. Looking back, there were positives. For the first few months, you had to lie still, there was a bell under the sheets and you had to ring for everything. So with such a lack of stimulation, it was inevitable that imagination was developed.

I remember lying looking at clouds and making pictures with them. Later I began reading which gave me a gift for life. I suppose I saw myself as this wonderful tragic heroine, but it did teach me self-sufficiency."