Campaign trail: an election miscellany

Compiled by Shane Hegarty

Compiled by Shane Hegarty

Would like to canvass

There have been some novel attempts to win over the electorate during this campaign, including teddy bears, tennis balls, songs and storming in on opponents' press stunts. But for subtlety, little can match the efforts of the Greens' South Tipperary candidate Bernard Lennon. He took out a lonely hearts ad in South Tipp Today, which reads: "Make a date with me next Thursday, May 24th, at your local polling station. 'I will be your No 1 if you just give me a scratch'. Bernard Lennon, the Green Party."

A sensitive type and good with his hands (he's a stone mason) Bernard should have added that he likes going for walks and reading poetry. He should have also stipulated if he'd like to meet voters for a brief flirtation or a long-term relationship and whether he's likely to be faithful - or run off with some Labour and Fine Gael voters after Thursday.

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Getting the youth vote

Paschal Donohoe, a Fine Gael candidate in Dublin Central, has decided to dump all subtlety in his quest for votes. This week, he has been handing out free sweets to children. It would be interesting to see what his policies are on healthy eating.

One! HA-HA-HA...

Enda Kenny has come under criticism for lacking the numbers to back up his promises. It's strange, given his previous job as much-loved Sesame Street character Count von Count.

Not now, dear

Phil Hogan, Fine Gael TD and candidate in Carlow-Kilkenny this week told KCLR Radio of an unusual encounter. Early in the campaign, when the weather was good, he went to a house in Kilkenny, "where there was a scantily-clad lady who had to grab her clothes". Hogan's comment to her? "I know you won't forget me."

Moving on up

Enda Kenny has had an early indication of how much he might have piqued interest among the population. Google keeps a track of the search terms that are moving in popularity, and in its April statistics, the Fine Gael leader was at number nine in its Irish chart. How good is that? Well, it's four places behind Luton Airport. However, he was the only politician on the list, and a bigger mover than "butterfly tattoos" (11th), actor Kate Hudson (14th) and Desperate Housewives (15th).

Moustache almighty

Willie O'Dea's appearance on Today FM's Ray D'Arcy Show during the week will go down as one of the election's most bizarre moments. A listener, Mary O'Connor, came into the studio to stroke the Minister's moustache and sit on his knee. The show has over 250,000 daily listeners, and most of them seemed to text in to say they were crippled with laughter.

Ms O'Connor it turned out, is quite a fan. The native of Lisnagry, Limerick, has an interesting Bebo site, on which she has 40 pictures of Mr O'Dea - one features him dressed as Eminem. If he ever becomes taoiseach, maybe he'll make her his press officer.