April Fools include non-slip bananas and Jedward tattoos


MATCHING TATTOOS for Jedward, non-slip bananas coming on the market and the removal of Fianna Fáil from the national anthem were just some of the suspicious stories appearing on April Fool’s Day yesterday.

But the real challenge was in sorting the genuine stories from the pranks. The Sunday Independent report that household charge champion Phil Hogan was refusing to pay service charges on his apartment in Portugal was assumed to be an April Fool joke. But it was later confirmed that the Minister for the Environment was in dispute with the apartment complex’s management company over the services provided.

The Ryanair announcement that it had received regulatory approval to run trial flights with up to 50 passengers standing with overhead hand straps was met with suspicion. But Ryanair chief executive Michael O’Leary had mooted this plan before so perhaps it was true? Well, it was not.

Jedward posted a video on YouTube apparently showing them having the word “Eurovision” tattooed on their bodies. They winced in pain as John had his lower arm tattooed and Edward tattooed his upper back. It was later confirmed it was a prank, with an insider saying their mother would never have allowed it.

The most-read story on RTÉ’s entertainment website yesterday was a report that One Direction were to split. It quoted a Ms Aprile Wan saying the boyband knew they would never be bigger than the Beatles. “They reckoned that, at best, they would be only as good as Boyzone and Westlife combined, or Boylife if you will.”

Fresh from the Mahon tribunal controversy, the Irish Mail on Sunday reported that Bertie Ahern was to be made honorary consul of the Nohamnala region in Nigeria. Nohamnala read backwards spells Alan Mahon, judge of the tribunal that did not believe the evidence offered by the former taoiseach about his finances.

Under the byline Gary Owen, a Sunday World article claimed the EU was to ban hurling in schools to shield Irish children from “tribal war-mongering”. The EU was encouraging Ireland to embrace non-violent sports such as synchronised swimming, it said.

Meanwhile, Sainsbury’s trumpeted the introduction of the world’s first non-slip banana.

And Ikea in Australia issued a product recall for left-handed allen keys, apologising for any inconvenience caused.

The Guardian reported that British prime minister David Cameron had appointed Happy Mondays star Shaun Ryder as a special adviser on social class, following a series of political missteps.

Google staff made Google Maps available for eight-bit Nintendo Entertainment Systems and added the option of “Really Advanced Search” to its search engine. This option promised to provide rhyming slang and look for subtext or innuendo in a phrase.