Miriam Lord: ‘A bit of aul cake’ but no fuss for birthday boy Noonan

While Kieran Mulvey and the unions were busy on Wednesday night hammering out the finer details of The Haddock ’n’ Roe Agreement, a far more convivial event was taking place just down the road from the offices of the Labour Relations Commission.

Fine Gael politicians were gathered in Smyth’s of Haddington Road for a hastily arranged knees-up in honour of their favourite Minister for Finance, Michael Noonan.

The former party leader had been keeping quiet about reaching his 70th birthday milestone.

But at a meeting of the Finance Committee, chairman Ciaran Lynch couldn’t resist giving him some friendly birthday advice: “When the candles cost more than the cake, it’s time to stop counting.”

After the end of a long working day, the Minister repaired to the well-known Dublin 4 hostelry for what he presumed would be a few quiet birthday drinks with a small group of colleagues.

But when he got inside, about 40 people were waiting for the birthday boy. (Along with Fianna Fáil Senator and Listowel’s finest, Ned O’Sullivan, who surfaced in the middle of them.)

A “bit of an aul cake” was produced – a chocolate Marks & Spencer job – and, in a nod to health and safety, just two candles formed the number 70.

“Michael had been insisting earlier that he didn’t want any fuss, but you see he was secretly delighted when he saw everyone,” said one backbencher.

At one point in the night Ryan Tubridy, who happened to be in the bar, joined Noonan for a drink and a chat. Earlier in the day, his RTÉ bosses had been before the Oireachtas Communications Committee telling how they had reduced the pay of the big earners in Montrose and were on track to reduce them even more.

Given his reduced circumstances, it isn’t known whether Ryan bought the Minister for Finance a drink or if Noonan did the honours.

We're not sure if the host of the Late Late managed to get a word with the Tipperary South TD Tom Hayes, the chairman of the Communications Committee.

Among the Ministers who dropped in were Frances Fitzgerald, Leo Varadkar and James Reilly, who played a lusty role in the singsong that followed the blowing out of the (two) candles.

Unlike Alan Shatter – who didn’t make the celebrations – Lungs Reilly certainly wouldn’t have any problem blowing into a breathalyser machine.

His spirited rendition of Dicey Reilly was the highlight of the night.

Senator Catherine Noone also sang, while Seanad leader Maurice Cummins, a former chairman of the Waterford Light Opera Society, came over all Gilbert and Sullivan.

Senator O’Sullivan – an old friend of Noonan – kept the Fianna Fáil end up with a Frank Sinatra number, while Clare TD Michael McNamara flew the flag (unofficially) for Labour but didn’t sing.

“It was very low key and impromptu. There was nothing fancy – no food or anything. Noonan wouldn’t have liked that, particularly in the current climate. But we had a great old night all the same,” one of the revellers told us the next morning.

Whether he liked it or not, the good wishes were flying all day Wednesday for the Minister for Finance.

And we're sure Noonan's good pal Christine Lagarde will have been in touch, too, to wish him a bon anniversaire from the IMF.

Buttimer received threats of ‘assault and murder’ and ‘Holocaust’ leaflets

Jerry Buttimer won widespread praise this week for his even-handed stewardship of the abortion legislation hearings.

As the three-day session neared, campaigners on both sides of the abortion argument intensified their efforts to influence Buttimer, who is chairman of the Oireachtas health committee. He said nothing about it.

In the wake of the Government’s publication of the heads of the Protection of Life During Pregnancy Bill, we talked to a number of female Fine Gael parliamentarians who told of the torrent of hostile and threatening letters, leaflets and emails flowing into their Dáil and constituency offices.

“It’s bad for us, but you should talk to Jerry Buttimer. What he’s had to put up with is just disgraceful,” said one, to the agreement of her colleagues.

When we approached the Cork South-Central deputy about this, he said he didn’t want to talk about the issue until after the hearings.

“I’ve had a picket outside my office every Friday for the last two months. I couldn’t tell you how many emails have come in,” he said yesterday. “Leaflets with the most awful pictures were sent out, comparing abortion to the Holocaust and urging people to contact me about the legislation. Some constituents actually thought I had sent them.”

He talked of threats of “assault and murder”.

Posters appeared with the message, “Simon Coveney is killing animals and Jerry Buttimer is killing babies.”

The volume of mail and emails was huge. “The pro-choice crowd were forcefully insisting that we act on the legislation, but there was very little vitriol. That came predominately from the extreme anti-abortion campaigners.

“There was so much of it I deliberately didn’t go near email or social media during the hearings.”

Buttimer, who spent five years in Maynooth seminary and holds a degree in theology, shrugs off the hate mail.

And for all the nasty letters, he also received many of support and encouragement, along with a large number of Mass bouquets. “I got a lot of tiny little foetuses and rosary beads – I’ve a drawer full of the stuff. The good thing is that lots of people are praying for me on both sides.”

He was meticulous in chairing the hearings with patience and impartiality, ensuring that the exchanges remained temperate. “I think the tactics from those on the extremes have no place in a civilised society,” he says, adding that “those who are leaders in the church” must also adopt a temperate approach. “The Eucharist is a sacrament and not a political football.”

An indication of the paucity of middle ground opinion in this continuing argument is the difficulty Buttimer had in securing witnesses who weren’t involved with an interest group. “We tried to get more neutrals in, but it proved very difficult.”

Meanwhile, as a Dáil heckler of note, it’s been a case of poacher turned gamekeeper for the Government backbencher. He was “Jerry Buttimer wouldn’t melt in his mouth” during the hearings.

The Ceann Comhairle will be hoping he’s turned over this new leaf for good.

McGrath’s twist in the Shatter tale makes a bad week worse for Minister

An old gag was resurrected this week in honour of Alan Shatter.

Some deputies thought it absolutely hilarious: “They held a vote for the most unpopular TD in Leinster House. Alan Shatter won, taking two running mates with him . . .”

That’s a bit unfair on old Puff ‘n’ Huff – he’s mildly asthmatic, you know. Loves a good wheeze. He must have thought dropping Mick Wallace in the penalty points soup was a great one.

Shatter wasn’t particularly contrite in the Dáil on Tuesday night when the Opposition took him to task for his outrageous public disclosure of confidential Garda information about a political opponent.

In fact, he was positively bullish, to such a degree it wasn’t just Mick Wallace and Clare Daly he was annoying.

It was business as usual for Shatter, with his haughty response to valid questions. He didn’t look in the least bit put out, until a Labour TD injured his pride.

Shatter had tried to convince the Dáil that he could never be accused of indiscretion. He doesn’t leak. To bolster his case he declared “in fact, journalists find me most awkward . . . and that’s the reality.”

Kevin Humphreys, the Labour TD for Dublin South East who was less than happy with the Minister’s Prime Time performance, picked up on this: “Can I just confirm: it’s not just journalists who find you awkward, but a few of us in the House as well.”

Shatter looked up immediately, a shocked expression on his face. He turned to his colleagues, Brian Hayes and Frances Fitzgerald, who seemed similarly taken aback. He said something to them and then glared over at Humphreys, who didn’t notice him.

There wasn’t exactly a rush of protest from the Government benches.

And then came a high-pitched cry. “How dare you, Deputy!” At last, somebody to speak up for poor Alan.

But the shout was from Ming Flanagan, and he was laughing.

Not a good week for the Minister. Although Shane Ross, his Dublin South constituency colleague, hasn’t looked so happy in ages.

Mattie McGrath’s twist in the Shatter tale on Thursday will only have increased his good humour. Fans of Alan’s steamy literary outpourings are already scouring his novel for the line: “Is that a breathalyser in your pocket, Garda, or are you just pleased to see me?”