Niche travel

Cranky concierges


Think social media is all about allowing customers vent their spleen? Well it works both ways, buddy.

Check out How May We Hate You, the blog of two Times Square, New York concierges, fielding such queries as “I’m supposed to go to this building that’s between two streets. Do you know where that is?” and “Do you guys have forks? You know, like, eating utensils? (mimes eating with a fork).”

And, by phone: “Hi there. We’ll be staying at your hotel in about 5 months and we’re interested in going to Carmine’s. Can you overnight Fed-Ex us a menu?”

Then there’s The Chief at @ConciergeCorner on Twitter, a five-star hotel concierge whose patience is running thin.

Sample tweets include: “Did a guest really just call me for what the weather will be in late November?”

Or, filed under #notyourtravelagent, “Can you look for the cheapest flights from ABC to XYZ” and “Gotta love the guest who asks me for ‘a few of my business cards’ because his wallet was ‘thin’.”

There’s wisdom too.

“If a guest begins with ‘I stay here all the time’ chances are they don’t.” And “Did this guest really just ask me ‘Where is the bar?’ and reply with ‘oh, that bar?” (filed under #idiotguests).

“Hey moron, it’s called a courtesy vehicle, not your vehicle. Have some patience and be courteous” and “Dear ALL guests, simply telling me your lost phone is black is not gonna aid me in finding it.”

For total, to the point vengeance however, beware, a database of cheapskate customers that takes the gloves off and names names. Gulp.