River holidays are great fun - but watch out for the shallows, writes Michael Kellyin his captain's log
DAY ONE
Portumna, Co Galway, to Banagher, Co Offaly Three hours, 30km
We awake on the morning of our holiday to another biblical deluge. Given that we have been up to our necks in rain for months, there's a sense of foreboding about the wisdom of basing our holiday around water.
Emerald Star's Portumna base is where we collect our home for the week: a 12.8m cruiser called Inny. We move our belongings onboard, struck by the fact that it seems cramped yet incredibly roomy at the same time.
It has four cabins and supposedly sleeps nine, though one of the cabins is basically a coffin. Still, there are only five of us, all adults, and we reckon it will sleep seven in comfort. Mrs Kelly and I get the most salubrious cabin, as befitting the captain and his missus.
The first mate and I are both first-timers, so our patient instructor, Tony, takes us out on the water to talk us through the basics of safety and navigation.
I have a short attention span, and while he's talking I am hearing soothing music in my head. Thankfully, the first mate is of meticulous character and asks lots of pertinent questions. When we get back to base Tony disembarks and kisses the ground.
With a world of nautical expertise now under our belts, we head north towards our first stop, Banagher. I am in the driver's seat up on deck (you can steer from the cabin, too), and the rest of the crew are sitting around, taking in the spectacular river scenery. All hands seem in high spirits.
The mood shifts from euphoria to nervous tension as we arrive at our first lock, in Meelick, Co Galway. Navigating a lock is a tough assignment for a first-time captain. I steer too close to the wall and shunt the back of the cruiser ever so slightly. The lock-keeper has the look of a man who's seen it all before.
A few hours later we arrive in a rain-soaked Banagher. It's a strange, almost ancient experience to arrive in a place by river. Banagher is a ghost town on a miserable evening, but we find a suitably cosy establishment for a fine meal. The lock-keeper from Meelick is supping a drink at the bar. He scurries away when he sees me coming, afraid that I might crash into him and spill his pint.
DAY TWO
Banagher, Co Offaly, to Athlone, Co Westmeath Four and a half hours, 40km
The bathroom facilities onboard deserve an honourable mention, if only for the sheer ingenuity involved in cramming in so many of them (three toilets, three showers).
Showers are cramped, but the water is piping hot once the engine is running. Marine toilets merit an article by themselves. If you've used them, you'll know what I'm talking about.
The wonderful thing about cruising is that you only have one goal for the day: to get from point A to point B for your evening meal (hopefully without losing any of the crew). The boat moves at a slow pace (even at full throttle, a relaxed 10 knots, or a little under 20km/h), so there's basically nothing to do except let the world float by. It's enforced relaxation, which in our frenetic world is the most successful type.
Admittedly, the persistent rain and unseasonable cold can make it pretty unpleasant for the driver (you could try driving from inside, but we found visibility poor), although clear, crisp autumn weather would be an ideal time. Pack your rain gear, though, because if it is raining, even with four layers and a raincoat, it's still cold. I wish I had brought a hat and gloves.
Downstairs the atmosphere is good; friends are catching up, reading or playing cards.
Clonmacnoise, in Co Offaly, is our next stop, and the captain gives the task of parking to a lowly deckhand, who makes a complete bags of it while amused tourists look on. We take in a fascinating guided tour of the ancient monastic settlement, buy some woolly hats in the gift shop and enjoy lunch in the cafe.
In the afternoon we head north again for Athlone, for it is rumoured that there is sunshine there. There is only one tight space left in the town's marina, and the captain makes a hash of filling it, eventually wedging Inny between two other cruisers. Neighbouring crews glower at us from the decks.
Captain and first mate hit the dinghy for a spot of fishing. It's our first time fishing (and rowing), so you can imagine the drama. Captain tries to land a fish while first mate rows around in circles. People standing on the bridge in Athlone laugh, point and take photos. After an hour of superhuman effort we make it back to dry land, sans fish.
DAY THREE
Athlone, Co Westmeath, to Portrunny, Co Roscommon Three hours, 30km
After a pleasant breakfast aboard Inny we extricate ourselves from the marina with only minor grinding noises and some more dirty looks. North of Athlone the Shannon opens up into the vast expanse of Lough Ree, which we decide to circumnavigate anticlockwise, aiming to arrive at Hodson Bay by lunchtime.
Navigating a lake is a different proposition from navigating a river, where you typically just need to stay in the middle of the markers (black on the left, or port, side and red on the right, or starboard, side).
It's the same principle on the lake, but, given the vast area involved, the map is harder to follow. Extreme care is needed, as shallows are lurking, and the water is choppy.
I am at the wheel just south of Portrunny, and I have two buoys on the horizon as my markers. I am sitting up top, thinking that this might just be the greatest day ever, when all of a sudden there is an unmerciful grinding noise from beneath the boat. Inny judders to a halt, and I realise the unthinkable has happened: we have run aground.
Initial fears that we might be in danger of drowning are quickly dispelled, as the water around the boat is a meter deep. We call Emerald Star, and its relaxed attitude calms us down. We are told to stay put (as if we have a choice) while they dispatch a boat to tow us off.
We play some cards and comfort-eat to pass the time. The crew accepts the setback with aplomb and generosity of spirit.
Eventually we get towed back to Portrunny. The rudder is damaged, so Inny's steering is compromised, and it will have to be fixed in the morning. Given the dearth of things to do in Portrunny, we get a taxi to Roscommon for food. I order a stiff drink. "Do you want that on the rocks?" asks the first mate.
DAY FOUR
Portrunny, Co Roscommon, to Shannonbridge, Co Offaly Five hours, 53km
Emerald Star gets us up and running in no time. Bloodied but unbowed, Inny sails south again, hell-bent on getting back to the safety of the River Shannon. Then something incredible happens: the sun comes out and stays out. It's as if the nautical gods are feeling sorry for us. All hands are relaxed and calm, luxuriating in the sunshine on deck.
It's late when we arrive at Shannonbridge, and the jetty is full, but two kindly gents come out and help me dock beside two other cruisers. The camaraderie on the river is one thing I will never forget about this holiday. There's an unwritten rule that each time you pass another cruiser you all have to salute each other. We love that ritual.
DAY FIVE
Shannonbridge, Co Offaly, to Portumna, Co Galway Four hours, 54km
It has turned cold again up on deck, but thankfully the rain stays away. We get going early, then tie up at Meelick for breakfast.
We take Inny back to base around lunchtime. The consensus among the crew is that if the sun shone a little more, this would be the most glorious holiday imaginable. Even without sun you'll have a blast.
Just try to find a captain who listens during the navigation tutorial.
The Shannon cruising season finishes at the end of October. Emerald Star (www.emeraldstar.ie) has special offers for the remainder of the season.
Where to eat
AthloneThe Olive Grove (Custume Pier, 090-6476946, www.theolivegrove.ie) has some of Athlone's best views and a spectacular terrace overlooking the river. Owner Garry Hughes looked after us well, and we thoroughly enjoyed the food (the Seafood Experience is recommended). It also does wonderful artisan beers and ciders.
BanagherWe enjoyed a fine, inexpensive meal (served with a smile) at Flynn's (0509-51312).
ShannonbridgeYou certainly won't miss The Old Fort (www.theoldfortrestaurant.com, 090-9674973). This remarkable building was built in 1810 as a defensive fortification against Napoleon, and it looms large over the river as you approach Shannonbridge. Owner Fergal Moran has painstakingly restored the building over the past seven years. It has a great atmosphere and exquisite food from chef Marie Haverty.
PubsFor creamy pints after a hard day's cruising, try Gertie Brownes (Custume Place, Athlone, 0902-74848, http://iolfree.ie/~gerties). Also worth a visit is Killeens in Shannonbridge (0905-74112). It's half-grocery-store, half-pub - where else would you get it?
Where to go
For information on River Shannon boat hire, accommodation, events, activities and navigation, see www.waterwaysireland.org/shannon or www.shannon-river.com - a good place to plan a holiday, with information on boat hire and activities and a town-by-town guide.
PortumnaLocal items of interest include Portumna Forest Park (www.coillte.ie/index.php?id=854), which offers more than 550 hecatares of nature trails and forest walks, and the recently restored Portumna Castle, dating from 1618 (090-9741658 or e-mail portumnacastle@opw.ie).
BanagherThe river at Banagher fishes well for bream, pike, perch, brown trout and occasional salmon. The town boasts an impressive Martello tower and 17th-century fortifications (www.offaly.ie, 057-9352617).
ShannonbridgeTry Clonmacnoise West Offaly Railway (Blackwater Works, e-mail bograil@bnm.ie, 090-9674450) for a tour of the Blackwater bog. The ancient abbey (built by St Kieran in 545AD), crosses and high towers at nearby Clonmacnoise draw about 100,000 visitors every year (www.heritageireland.ie, 090-9674195 or e-mail clonmacnoise@opw.ie).
AthloneAt the foot of Lough Ree, Athlone is a bustling town that has benefited greatly from recreational river traffic. Visit Athlone Castle (St Peter's Square, 090-6472107, e-mail jwalsh@athlonetc.ie), built in 1210 by the Normans and under attack pretty much ever since. It now houses an interpretive centre, gallery and museum.
Lough ReeOne of Ireland's largest lakes, Lough Ree contains a wealth of historical sites on its shore and islands. The largest hoard of Viking gold ever discovered in western Europe was found on Hare Island, where St Ciaran lived before founding Clonmacnoise. Other islands of interest include Inchbofin, Saints Island and Quaker Island. For information on a Lough Ree Tour call 044-934 8650 or see www.discoverireland.ie.