‘I believe my girls will live secure lives in Ireland and find themselves here’

When Hamad Arshad first arrived in Ireland in 2002, he spent most of his free time in one specific spot – a phone box in Blanchardstown. Feeling homesick and lonely, the young Pakistani would walk from the house where he was staying in Castleknock into Blanchardstown village with an international calling card tucked carefully inside his wallet.

“I still remember I used the phone booth out on the public road, it was a special smart booth where we could use our cards. I’d spend a long time on that phone, more than 30 minutes.”

Arshad, who grew up in the city of Sialkot in the Punjab province of Pakistan, had come to Ireland to work in a friend's Indian takeaway and restaurant in Laytown, Co Meath.

'I found Ireland really peaceful and I had a good life here so I spent nine years working in that Indian takeaway'

“It’s nearly 20 years ago but I still remember it was a huge change for me. I’d never been to any other country and I’d been living with my family, my brothers and sisters before I left. We were very attached to one another, I was sad leaving them.”

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In Pakistan, Arshad helped his father with his small furniture business after finishing school. He later found work as a chef in a hotel and then secured a visa to come to Ireland.

After a short stint in Dublin, he moved to Meath to be closer to his job in Laytown. “It was a small town, there was no Pakistani community there and I could hardly find my own people. Whenever I went to Dublin for any reason and saw people like me it felt like ‘thank God’. It was all a big change for me and during those first few months I spent my time thinking about saving money and going home to Pakistan.”

However, Arshad needed to keep sending money home to support his father who had stopped working after his mother died in 2000. “He was totally depending on me, that’s why my mind changed about staying here. I found Ireland really peaceful and I had a good life here so I spent nine years working in that Indian takeaway.”

During this time he married Memoona – a match that had been set up by the couple’s parents before Arshad left for Ireland. “It was an arranged marriage, it’s part of our tradition in my country. The rest of my brothers and sisters all had arranged marriages, it’s a part of life. But I would also say it’s a love marriage too with my wife. It’s only when I came here I realised how people meet in a different way, it’s a cultural difference.”

Arshad travelled to Pakistan in 2009 for the wedding and immediately applied for immigration permission for his wife to join him in Ireland. “It was refused because they weren’t satisfied our relationship was real so in 2010 I applied again. But it was refused, again. It was the same wording each time, they wanted more proof of our relationship but I’d given them our marriage cert and wedding photos and video.”

It was only after his third application was refused that Arshad realised he needed to provide more personal documentation as proof of their union. “The visa was approved eight weeks after the fourth application. But that was a really difficult time. Even now, thinking about it, I can’t explain how bad I felt in my heart. My wife wanted to be here, we lost a lot of time together.”

Arshad was living in Belmullet, Co Mayo, working in security when Memoona finally arrived in the country. However, she struggled to settle in the small, rural community and the couple moved to Dublin where they shared a house with another family. Six months after her arrival in Ireland, Memoona became pregnant with the couple's first daughter and in May 2013, Sukayna was born.

“We were both so happy when she arrived, I can’t explain it in words,” Arshad says as his face lights up. The arrival of their second daughter, Libah, the following year was another happy albeit unplanned event. The family was living crammed into one bedroom in a house-share so Arshad started looking for their own place.

He eventually found a two-bedroom house in Bettystown, Co Meath, and continued commuting to Dublin for work. In 2017, their third daughter, Urwah, arrived and in 2020 the final girl, Shaane-Zahra, was born.

“We were five people in a two-bedroom house at the point, it was overcrowded. When I found somewhere new on Daft.ie and contacted the landlord and they heard my family size, they wouldn’t want to know about us. It was really hard, whenever I found a place with affordable rent people said I can’t give you that house with four children.”

'My wife couldn't believe it. We were so thrilled. The space to play outside will make a huge difference to our girls growing up'

With the help of a friend, Arshad eventually found a temporary apartment in Castleknock where the family spent 14 months. He had applied for social housing in 2016 and was hopeful something might still become available. In autumn 2021, he received a call from Meath Council Council via Co-operative Housing Ireland (CHI) – the State's national organisation for the promotion, representation and development of co-operative housing initiatives – with the offer of a three-bedroom house with a garden in Dunboyne.

"My wife couldn't believe it. We were so thrilled. The space to play outside will make a huge difference to our girls growing up. I work in Dublin so it was also important for me to have somewhere close to the city and Dublin Bus covers this area."

Arshad says his family are “extremely happy” in their new home and feels huge gratitude to CHI and the council. “We are so lucky we got this house. Now we can save money to spend on our daughters’ futures instead of spending every penny on rent. We’re really excited to see our children grow in this house.”

Arshad admits he was initially worried about bringing up four daughters in a country that is so different to the place where he spent his childhood. However, he now feels lucky that his family live in such a “peaceful country”. “I can see my daughters are so happy to live here. We’ve gone back and visited Pakistan a few times but they love living here, they’ll never move back. I believe they will live secure lives in Ireland and find themselves here.”

Now an Irish citizen, Arshad often reflects on the speech the then minister for justice, Alan Shatter, gave at his naturalisation ceremony in 2013. “I remember he said, ‘You are now Irish citizens but you should bring your own culture here too, it’s healthy for Ireland’. I really appreciated that.”