Cyclists beware: I'm a turncoat

REARVIEW:I do hope you are enjoying National Bike Week. Bikes are brilliant. I used to love cycling through Dublin traffic, synapses fizzing with adrenaline. I miss it terribly. I freely admit to being a bit of a road hog when I was on my trusty steed. But there was method in my madness. As far as I was concerned, I was bottom of the food chain and attack was the best form of defence.

I knuckle-rapped hundreds of windows and booted thousands of wing mirrors to warn dim-witted motorists they were in mortal danger of pulverising me. But I never hit a pedestrian. They were sacrosanct. We were allies in the battle against the dark side.

Sadly, I no longer live within cycling distance of work and am reduced to the level of lowly foot soldier when in the city. Drivers are no longer my enemy. Irony of ironies, I find my foe is now two-wheeled. And highly dangerous.

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been ploughed into by ignorant light-breaking mentalists just because I had the temerity to cross the road when instructed to by the green man.

I am not alone. Such is the problem that a growing band of peeved pedestrians has taken to fighting back. Some of these urban warriors have even started chasing down brigand bikers and tagging them with red paint.

While such petty vigilantism is beneath me, the next time I see some pathetic 40-something wannabe hipster on a fixie barrelling out of control towards me as I cross the road, he’d better be prepared for the consequences.

I’m no longer prepared to be considered as road kill for cyclists.