Tom Doorley eats in Talavera in south Dublin. Great staff, but . . .
I sometimes find myself discussing restaurants with people in the oddest of circumstances. On one occasion, when I was about to undergo a medical procedure, I found myself talking with the consultant about a place called Talavera. He had strong views but I, being a bit preoccupied at the time, only half listened to what they were - and promptly forgot them altogether. Now that I have eaten there, his words have come flooding back.
Talavera is in the basement of the Radisson SAS St Helen's Hotel, in Blackrock in south Co Dublin. It's important to note this, because there are no signs around the building to direct you there. This is, perhaps, a mercy. With a bit of luck you might just give up and decide to go somewhere else.
The menu is written in Italian, and it does, indeed, have various dishes which are not unknown in that country. But perhaps not in quite the form that they are served in Blackrock. The one thing this restaurant has going for it is the staff: mainly Italian, universally charming, efficient and as good as you get.
The antipasto buffet is a self-service collection of the usual suspects: salami, prosciutto, artichoke hearts, anchovies and what have you. You can visit this servery for €9 for a starter, €21.50 for a main course. I don't know why they don't just strip it down to a few items, select them on the basis of excellent quality and serve them on a plate. It seems a bit ungenerous to get diners to do it themselves.
Our other starter was gnocchi - spinach, as it happens - bathed in a lot of pumpkin-based gloop and topped with a couple of slices of pecorino. The green ovals of gnocchi peering out from the depths of buff-coloured sauce were not a pretty sight. We agreed that the pumpkin element looked very much like the sort of food used for weaning, except that this dish tasted, almost solely, of salt. And pecorino, of course, made it even more saline.
It took some time to detect a faint flavour of truffle in the mushroom risotto with truffle oil. After a few minutes it surfaced, hovered around and vanished again. But perhaps I was distracted by the gritty rice grains and the chewy texture of reconstituted dried mushrooms. I've nothing against dried mushrooms. I use them myself. I just expect a bigger effort for €17.50.
Dover sole, at €36, was even worse value. For a start, this delicate but meaty fish was overcooked to the point of mushiness, for which there is no excuse. But its strong fishy flavour was unforgivable. The tiny veins that run alongside the bones in a sole contain blood. And fish blood, like any other kind, starts to pong very soon after death. Dover sole needs to be spanking fresh if it is cooked on the bone, as it was here. Maybe some diners like their fish a bit gamey. Not too many, though. Impeccably fresh Dover sole is arguably the king of sea fish. This was just unpleasant.
As were the vegetables "roasted in olive oil". As if that takes the harm out of unpeeled carrots in which soil was still visible in the crevices on the skin. With a main course costing €36? Flabby, greasy and flavourless is the kindest description I can muster for this side dish.
Espressos and homemade biscuits were very good. With a bottle of catatonically boring Gavi and one glass of Masi Valpolicella, the bill for this pretentious and underachieving meal came to €116.85. u
Talavera, Radisson SAS St Helen's Hotel, Blackrock, Co Dublin (01-2186032)
WINE CHOICE If there's one thing that drives me crazy about wine lists, it's when the compiler can't be bothered to tell you who made the stuff. This is really quite important. It's like ignoring the difference between a Trabant and an Audi S4 (the latter being what I want for Christmas). So I'll just mention a few of the wines that are accredited to producers at Talavera. Chapoutier's Châteauneuf du Pape La Bernardine 2003 is brilliant at €48. Villa Antinori Bianco di Custoza is pretty simple stuff for €31. Masi's lovely Campofiorin, a ripasso version of Valpolicella, is pretty steep at €38, but Tignanello 2000 is probably about right at €90. Cervaro della Sala 2002 is a lovely Umbrian Chardonnay, but it is not worth €75.