'Something in my mind told me I did not belong in Ireland'

People have many reasons to emigrate from the country where they were born and raised: economics, curiosity, or just a desire to experience somewhere totally different. But is it possible that wanting to be somewhere else could be physically connected to your genes? What if that desire to go has been unconsciously playing on your mind from a young age without really knowing where it originated from, or where you want to be?

From about the age of 14 something in my mind told me I did not belong in Ireland. I did not feel at home in Dublin where I had grown up. This was not due to sexual preferences, but more of a mentality I could not relate to. Having great friends and good relationships during my middle and late teens was not enough to quench my longing to leave.

In 1978 at the age of 20 I left Ireland and went to live and work in Isfahan in Iran, where I taught English, and eventually worked for an English language newspaper as a sub-editor in Teheran. At the start of the revolution, a night time curfew was set in place. Leaving the house after 8pm put you at risk of being shot. But I decided to hang on and see how things worked out.

It was only after arriving at the large editorial office one morning to find a row of bullet holes in one of the windows, that I turned to my colleagues sitting nervously behind their typewriters and waved goodbye. Three days later I left the country in a bus for London where I went to work in a bar in Piccadilly.

Ticket to Germany

Many Irish feel at home in the UK, but I did not. Six months later I returned to Dublin, but it did not take long for me to want to be somewhere else. I had my mind set on Munich in Germany, where I had been for three weeks before travelling to Iran.

In the early summer of 1979 I saw an advertisement in a national newspaper with the headline "Work in Holland", and decided that was my ticket to Germany, via the Netherlands. But, having arrived in Breda, in the south of the Netherlands to fulfil a four-month contract working in a canning factory, I quickly felt at one with the mentality of the people I met. They were relaxed, seemed to show little stress, and males and females were generally treated as equals.

Since everybody spoke English, I did not try to learn Dutch for the first two years, but once my frustration of not speaking the language had grown to epic proportions I dived into it and was fairly fluent after a year and a half. I soaked it up.

After seven years I moved to Amsterdam, which felt like coming home. My first daughter was born at home in Amsterdam and I worked for various Dutch national broadcasting companies as a producer.

My longing to be in the Netherlands, particularly Amsterdam, was overwhelming. Even when I moved to San Francisco in 2011, I just wanted to come back to the Netherlands, and I did within a year.

National Geographic Genographic Project

National Geographic is not only a publisher and television channel, but also a scientific institute. When I came across its Genographic project in 2009, I jumped at the opportunity to take part, to find out where I genetically came from.

After signing up and paying €100 I received a small package containing items to do a swab from the inside of my cheek. This I then placed in a small plastic container and sent it back to the United States. After two months I got an email informing me my results were in.

The first result about my gene tracing was: Celtic, Irish. No surprises there.

Going back 500 years, my genes were traced to Scotland. We have never done an in-depth genealogy search for my family, so this could be true. In any case that’s where my genes turned up.

But most interesting of all, was the result of the 1,000-year test, which traced my genes back to North Holland. Huh? This was a huge surprise. I always wondered why I felt so at home among the Dutch.

I unwittingly found my roots through this project. At the moment I live not far from Amsterdam, a city I still adore. Strangely enough, the only thing I really miss about Ireland is the music, which is seemingly embedded deep into my bones. To quench this addiction I go to Mulligan’s Irish pub in Amsterdam at least a couple of times a month to listen to live sessions, creating a balance in me I could not live without.

To join National Geographic's Genographic Project, contribute to a scientific effort and learn more about yourself, see genographic.nationalgeographic.com