The “worst feeling in the world” says ‘Kimberley’ (30) “is feeling you are not doing enough for your kids”.
A single mother to her 11- and four-year-old children, she is starting a degree in UCD in law and social justice in September. “I just want to get off social welfare and get a good life for me and the kids.”
Kimberley – not her real name – lives in Dublin. She has chosen not be identified as she says she does not want to be accused of “moaning” and fears her children may face humiliating comments at school.
For herself and her children, she receives just under €300 a week, plus €280 a month in child benefit. Renting with the support of the housing assistance payment (HAP), she pays differential rent to her local authority and a €95 “top-up” to her landlord monthly.
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“The rent hasn’t gone up in two years and it’s going up soon, so I might have to top up by about €200 or more a month. My electricity bill is €600 in arrears, which is from three bills. Every time I’m in the post office I’m trying to pay off €40 here, €50 there but it just keeps going up when it’s due.”
Special offers
She pays €50 a week for childcare though is hopeful of getting childcare in UCD which may be cheaper. Her nearest supermarket has special offers when she uses the loyalty card.
“They have a section in the fridges of meat that is reduced because it’s about to go off. I buy that and freeze it. I am always scanning the prices for the best value.
“A year ago it wasn’t that bad. I could spend about €100 and it would last two weeks or so. Now, even switching to the own-brands and the special offers it’s €140.
“My kids love shopping with me, especially the 11 year old. I am trying to get the own-brand stuff but my son will see something that’s branded. It’s €3 or €4 and in my head, I’m going, ‘Oh God’ and saying, ‘No problem son’. You just don’t want to show that panic on your face.
“I have cut back on meat. I always make sure the kids have enough food. Sometimes I don’t have any dinner – have porridge or something later and the kids are asking, ‘Mom why don’t you want anything?’ and I say, ‘Oh don’t worry, I’m not hungry.”
Weekend treats
Asked about treats, like a meal out or having friends over for food, she sighs. “I try to give the kids a treat at the weekend. Takeaways are expensive. We like to go for breakfast or something like that maybe.”
She is worried about the winter, especially heating bills. “I have storage heating, that is why my bills are so high.”
Asked what the Government could do, she says affordable childcare, a cap on electricity bills and accessible social housing would make a huge difference.
“I’ve been on the housing list for 10 years. It’s frustrating. I am trying to give my kids a better life. When you’re on social welfare people ask, ‘Why don’t you work?’ But who is going to mind my kids? It’s just hard.
“I am worried about my mental health, wondering how I am going to get through this. The worst feeling in the world is that you are not doing enough for your kids. My son turned around to me last week and said, ‘Mum I wish we could go on holiday. My friends are going to Portugal and Spain’. I am like, ‘Oh my God’. You just feel so guilty.”
