Preparing to move from primary school to secondary in September does not just occur in the summer months. The eight or so weeks of scheduled freedom in July and August for 12- and 13-year-olds before they trudge into a brand-new environment with new rules and faces is often fraught with concealed apprehension.
Apprehension that can be levelled by preparing early.
Some of the big questions can be easily answered, such as:
- How will I know when to move classrooms?
- Why is the school so big?
- Will I make new friends?
- When can I go to my locker?
Others are a learning experience that can only happen when school starts and necessary support is offered. But preparing well in advance of those summer months is a good step forward for parents in relieving some of the stress, worries and concerns during this rocky period.
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Tara Mulhern, a mental health occupational therapist, and the programme lead of Neart – the national programme of wellbeing supports for post-primary schools – says transitions in general can be a potential cause of stress for young people. Neart is a partnership between Jigsaw, the national centre for youth mental health, and NEPS, the National Educational Psychological Services for the Department of Education and Youth.
[ Things to consider when choosing an Irish secondary school for your childOpens in new window ]
“Referrals for Jigsaw’s clinical services increase during times of academic transition and challenges with the transition to post-primary school are a common reason for referral,” Mulhern says. “But when young people feel safe, seen and supported, the majority will adjust well to the new school.”
A new school can feel like an alien experience. Everything is different, and without a dedicated guide, it can feel as though they are being thrown in the deep end. So, let’s give them imaginary armbands so they can swim.
“The structure of post-primary school is so different to what they know from primary school,” says Mulhern. “They may be excited, or they may be apprehensive or anxious. Spend time with them as their parent or guardian to work out what it is they are concerned about, and validate their feelings.”
Mulhern suggests helping them with practical supports, such as “doing dry runs of their new commute, helping them organise their school equipment and how to navigate a timetable for the first time, [and] supporting them to build the organisational skills they will need. Then focus on relationships. Help them to understand who their supports within the school will be; are there pictures of these staff on the website? – and, how do they access them?”
The overwhelming nature of new beginnings means offering guidance to your child will help them to balance the often all-consuming emotions that come with change. “Help them to learn some coping or calming skills,” suggests Mulhern, “like deep breathing, or grounding techniques like one where they simply name five things they can see, four things they can hear, three things they can feel, two things they can smell or taste, and take one deep breath to ground them in the present moment if they are feeling overwhelmed. Practising these in advance so they can use them if they have a wobble once they start.”
Mulhern also recognises that new timetables, modes of transport, longer days and information overload in those first weeks and months can leave adolescents feeling exhausted. The transition to feel comfortable and supported in their new environment does not last one day, but rather months, or more.
‘Whether your child has ADHD or co-occurring conditions such as autism, dyslexia, dyspraxia, or anxiety, moving to a new school with three floors, a one-way system, 20 rooms and 1,000 strangers is going to be a challenge’
— Nicla Coss, ADHD Ireland
In this regard, she recommends keeping demands low initially until a new balance is found, and she advises parents to connect with Neart, which offers supports and resources to parents, guardians and school staff, as well as a full podcast episode for parents on the topic of transitioning into post-primary school with a range of professionals.
Interestingly, Mulhern highlights an aspect of significant change that may become lost in the excitement and anxiety coming from the heartache of saying goodbye not only to familiar routines, but also to friends and a sense of childhood. “Young people may also experience grief and loss as they leave primary school,” she advises. “It’s important to validate and give them time to talk about any feelings of loss too.
“They need to feel secure that they have someone to lean on during this transition. Sometimes they’ll just want a listening ear, and sometimes they will need some practical support. Remain calm, and make sure not to project your own worry onto them.”
Mulhern also notes there can be “particular challenges for students with additional educational needs and neurodivergent young people, and they can benefit from additional supports in terms of preparation and establishing ways to support them to thrive within the new system. This includes working with the primary school and any therapists they have to communicate their needs, preferences and strengths to the post-primary school.”
[ How do I choose the right secondary school for my child?Opens in new window ]
Nicola Coss, national service lead, ADHD Ireland, says: “Transition is hard, for everyone, especially for a 12-year-old who only know the same 30 kids, same building, for the last eight years. Whether your child has ADHD or co-occurring conditions such as autism, dyslexia, dyspraxia, or anxiety, moving to a new school with three floors, a one-way system, 20 rooms and 1,000 strangers is going to be a challenge.”
Coss recognises that starting secondary school is a big change for children and parents, and early preparation makes the transition smoother and less stressful. She offers the following guidance for parents in supporting their children with the transition from primary to secondary school.
- Prepare early and build independence step by step.
- Begin by talking positively about the move. Attend the school’s open evening if possible, and walk the route together. Practise using public transport where needed. Over the summer, build independence – try organising the schoolbag, setting an alarm for the morning, preparing simple lunches.
- Routine and repetition are key to success. Gradually adjust sleep schedules before September and practise reading a timetable, moving between classrooms, and keeping track of books. Daily routines and emotions are explored in ADHD Ireland parent information sessions.
- Social changes are just as important. Talk about friendships, peer pressure, and who to speak to if worried, such as a year head or guidance counsellor.
- At the start of the year, consider preparing a short “trigger letter” outlining what worked well in primary school and what did not. Share helpful strategies, such as preferred seating or avoiding reading aloud, and provide copies for all teachers and the leadership team.
- Encourage extracurricular activities and arrange meet-ups with other families to enable friendships.
- Finally, stay involved but not over-involved. Regular reassurance builds confidence while supporting independence.
