Ten Things I Hate About Irish speakers

1. I don't understand them.

2. TG4.

3. They keep saying things like: "No, you don't understand the problem . . . "

4. They embarrass me into saying things like: "I liked Irish at school but the teacher was no good. My French is brilliant though." Isn't that strange?

5. They embarrass me into saying things like: "Irish is very musical. Say something."

6. They embarrass me.

7. Irish speakers in the Gaeltacht are taking up valuable space which could be used as holiday homes for our continental cousins.

8. Money spent on such superfluous things as Irish-language education would be better spent on developing stockcar racing.

9. Irish speakers all smoke pipes and have beards - and that's just the women.

10. They have no sense of humour.