yyy TRACK OF THE WEEK Revolving by Spark. By gum, we like the look of Spark (not her real name. Her real name is . . . Sparkle. Hate that.) Silly names aside, Spark is part of the girls-with-keyboards -and-a-surprising-amount-of-hairspray brigade – which makes her A-OK in our book. In Revolving she pledges to be a “wind-up doll”. We all know she’s anything but.

yyy Oh Will.I.Am! Always putting his oar in, the punctuation-challenged one (right) has slammed the new Michael Jackson “songs”. Speaking to Entertainment Weekly, Will said: “Whoever put it out and is profiting off of it, I want to see how cold they are.” Adding a touch of credibility to his whingeing, Will notes that he has worked with MJ before, mind you. “Michael Jackson songs are finished when Michael says they’re finished . . . He was very particular about how he wanted his vocals, the reverb he used. He was that hands-on.”

yyy Regular readers may remember the sadness we felt when Miley Cyrus’s parents announced that they were to divorce. Well imagine our glee when we found out that Britney Spears’s paterfamilias is reunited with his wife! Poor Britters was distraught when her folks split up but, fittingly, the two were spotted dancing to a Britney track in LA last weekend. Remarriage isn’t on the cards, but surely this is a step in the right direction? Miley, be strong!

yyy We’ve been waiting patiently since forevs to see the Christina Aguilera/Big Cher vehicle Burlesque, which promises to be part Coyote Ugly, part Lady Marmalade, and mostly Boots 17 range of lipliner. Thankfully it will be released soon, and Xtina has started on the soundbites. She claims that Big Cher “gave me so much advice, both personally and professionally” while they were making Burlesque. “She didn’t even have to open her mouth. She is just such an incredible presence and person. Been there and done everything before any of us came along. I admire and respect that truly.”