Confessions of a serial dieter

Having spent the past 10 years vowing to lose weight - and doing nothing about it - I finally hit rock bottom last September and mustered the courage to pick up the phone and take action. In my hand was a crumpled little classified ad that I'd pulled out of the back page of this newspaper months earlier extolling the virtues of a chain of Motivation Weight Control Centres, which offered one-to-one counselling. The ad claimed they had an 86 per cent success rate in helping clients to sustain weight loss, the trickiest part of any diet. Three-and-a-half months later, I have lost two-and-a-half stone, which is amazing really for someone who has had an on-going love affair with food since childhood. To say I feel better - and I'm told, look better - is, in a sense, missing the point. I recognise myself again. I have said goodbye to the middle-aged, matronly woman I'd prematurely become. I was no beauty queen back in 1979 and I'm not now. But I just wanted the body back that I had enjoyed living in 20 years ago, the one that never made me feel tired, old and frumpy.

Unlike many plump people, my weight hasn't gone up and down like a yo-yo - it has simply continued to go up and up. I've always loved food - choosing it, preparing it, tasting and smelling it. During one and co-incidentally a fellow countryman from Montreal, has specialised in treating obesity for over 20 years. Over that period, he observed that patients who successfully lost weight and kept it off were the ones who were prepared to identify and deal with the root causes of their overeating, not just the symptoms. He started with small group therapy sessions, but they had limited success because individuals and their circumstances were, of course, all different. He shifted to one-on-one counselling, but because it was so time-consuming and expensive, he created a computer programme called BERT - Behaviour Evaluation and Re-Training - with the help of behavioural psychologists from McGill University. BERT has been used for the past 10 years as a tool to help identify a person's "mental weight" and the personality traits that contribute to a patient's overeating. "Boy, that really sizes you up," was my husband's unintentionally witty reaction to my first computer report in September.

Not only had BERT determined that my mental weight - the weight I saw myself at - was about two stone higher than reality, it also noted that though I'm very self-confident, I'm also a classic A-type personality: aggressive, impatient, emotional, dramatic and perfectionist. I didn't score very well on how I handle guilt either. Stress, boredom and emotional disappointments are all events that would trigger my over-eating. Over the past three months, between being weighed, measured and my blood pressure taken regularly by the qualified nurse/counsellors who staff the centre, I've read a couple of Dr Larocque's books, listened to a few of his relaxation/training tapes, and have tried to adopt the behaviour modification changes and use the good eating tips he includes in each week's information pack. Every week my counsellor reviews that week's progress and sets a new goal for the next seven days.

An important part of the programme is to learn through repetition techniques how to control your emotions and the importance of positive thought. It's a form of benign brainwashing. And if you cheat, the nurses see it as a perfect opportunity to learn more about the trigger that caused the binge, not as a reason to feel guilty. "Small steps are how you will get there," Aisling Tobin, my counsellor, keeps reminding me. The actual diet - low in fats and carbohydrates, high in protein (if you call seven ounces a day high) - is completely unremarkable. All the food groups, such as fruit, vegetables, protein, dairy and grains are represented, but in small, balanced portions. Sugar and fats are off the menu and alcohol, tea and coffee is discouraged. "I guarantee you, if you eat everything we suggest, you won't be hungry," I was told on the first day. Much to my astonishment, she was right.

"Once you reach your target weight, there is nothing you cannot eat," I was also told, much to my relief. "What we're aiming for is for you to eat sensibly, to recognise when and why you over-eat and to deal with those issues. If you want a piece of cake, go ahead. But make it a small piece and don't have seconds." About half of all the clients who reach their target weight continue to attend the centre for monthly or bi-monthly check-ups. Forever. I have joined this group. I still enjoy food - cooking it, eating it and sharing it with my family and friends. But like the alcoholic who isn`t drinking today, I'm not overeating today either. And in learning to do that, I've started changing a few other bad habits too.