BEWARE THE BIG BROOD

REVIEWED - YOURS, MINE AND OURS: BEWARE. There are plenty of things to fear about this bland family comedy. It is directed by the man behind Big Momma's House and Scooby-Doo. It is based on a 1968 film starring Lucille Ball and Henry Fonda that wasn't very good in the first place. Like a surprising number of recent pictures, it posits the dubious notion that large groups of squabbling children are both inherently cute and amusing.

Worst of all, there are suspicions that Yours, Mine and Ours - in which people of various races, ages and socio-political inclinations learn to live together - is in some grandiose way about America. Yech!

In the red-state corner we have Dennis Quaid, a coast-guard officer with eight disciplined children. In the blue-state corner we encounter Rene Russo, a scatty interior designer, whose brood of 10 runs riot. When the couple, both widowed, decide to get hitched, their warring children, united only in disapproval of the union, begin plotting ways of prising them apart. Paint pots are toppled over heads. Wild parties take place at inconvenient moments. You know the score.

Quaid and Russo are, as ever, hard to dislike, and their good humour helps make the picture close to bearable. But, my word, this is flimsy stuff. If everything that happens happened only once, then the film would last about 15 minutes (which would still be about five minutes too many).

Supervising adults can, however, distract themselves by brooding on the metaphorical significance of the stray pig. Does it represent crime? Or random catastrophe? Then again, perhaps it's just there to knock things over.