A new Sandler nightmare

BEDTIME STORIES:Directed by Adam Shankman. Starring Adam Sandler, Keri Russell, Guy Pearce, Courteney Cox, Lucy Lawless, Russell Brand PG cert, gen release, 99 min *

"I'M LIKE the stink on your feet. I'll always be around," Adam Sandler says to some poor child in his latest useless film. I couldn't have put it better myself.

The latest outing for the tirelessly tiresome comic has something to do with a charming loser - the usual Sandler type - who, when forced to take care of his niece and nephew, learns all the usual lessons and makes all the customary self-improvements.

This particular twit, currently a handyman, has ambitions to take over the running of a hotel, which, in a more humble version, was once owned by his late father. On the first night, he tells the kids a bedtime story. The following day, aspects of that tale appear to manifest themselves in the real world - gumballs drop from the sky; he gets a chance to achieve his ambition - and Sandler jumps (rather too suddenly, it has to be said) to the conclusion that he has very particular superpowers.

If he says something in a bedtime story, it will come true.

Sadly, the film-makers show little confidence in their central conceit and quickly cast it aside to focus on the intricacies of Sandler's struggles in the cut-throat world of hotel management. Helping him in his efforts to stop the corporate villains demolishing a nearby elementary school are mad pal Russell Brand (Oscar voters should look elsewhere), uptight sister Courteney Cox (skin like varnished latex) and pretty teacher Keri Russell (not bad, actually). As the credits loom - the fantasy now a distant memory - we are offered a selection of jokes concerning loopholes in California planning legislation. It's about as much fun as it sounds.

This week also sees a welcome, digitally restored re-release of Vittorio De Sica's immortal Bicycle Thievesat the Irish Film Institute. The film - its title often wrongly translated as The Bicycle Thief - follows a bill-poster as he searches for the stolen bike that he needs to complete his day's work. Sixty years after its release, this desperately moving, loose-limbed drama continues to make it on to critics' lists of greatest films and stands as a key work in the advance of Italian neo-realism.

All films open on St Stephen's Day. Film reviews will resume in their regular slot in The Ticket on Jan 2