Monica and Bill scenario all too common

Is it about sex, lies or abuse of power? And if it's abuse of power, is that harassment? And who exactly is being harassed right now?

I wrote about harassment before, you may recall, and the impact that it had on the Wall Street Firm of Lew Lieberbaum where many of the male staff were sent on courses to show them the error of their ways.

But I think Bill Clinton needs more than a course in political correctness to show him the error of his "inappropriate" relationship with Monica. So far, I think he feels his only error is getting caught.

The problem about a relationship in the workplace is that it's actually a minefield of contradictions. There are plenty of opportunities for staff to get together and socialise and there's always plenty of harmless gossip about Monica in accounts and Bill in administration. Once Monica and Bill are pretty much on the same level within the organisation it doesn't make any difference.

But when Bill is the chief executive of the organisation and Monica is the clerical assistant, it does make a difference. Particularly if Bill is married to Hillary, who works in the company's subsidiary. Because, in that situation, when Bill suddenly decides that his cigars are for smoking alone, Monica is the one that gets transferred to the out-of-town department, while Bill carries on exactly as before. Since he doesn't want to see her around the place anymore. Although he might still keep in contact with her. As he has done with a few other girls in the office too.

But Monica doesn't want to be transferred out of town. And she doesn't believe it's all over. And she keeps calling. And calling. And calling.

I bet the scenario is played out in hundreds of corporations every day and I can't help feeling that a few managers are wiping their brows this week and thinking "there but for the grace of God . . . and the fact that I run a small company that nobody wants to know anything about". Until one of the transferred girls decides that she's going to take him to court for constructive dismissal.

In the senior-junior office affair scenario, both parties have a lot to lose. The chief executive will always try to cover it up and deny anything ever happened while the girl from accounts will, one day, sue him for something. Meanwhile, he's ridiculed while she's somewhere between a harlot and a victim.

But it goes on every day. And will continue to go on. Although, thankfully for most people in an office, without the details of every encounter appearing on the Internet.

Unless, of course, you work in one of those companies where they use CCTV to monitor the workforce. I've read several articles about this lately - where small cameras are focused on employees at their desks or in common areas or even in the toilets, so that management can see exactly what their most expensive assets are up to. Invasion of privacy or does the company have the right to know?

One company where it wouldn't surprise me to find CCTV everywhere is the company featured on that extremely irritating advertisement on British TV for information on the euro. I'm presuming this is a fictional company. I hope that this is a fictional company.

Have you seen this ad? The "boss" is being interviewed in little snapshots where he talks (in true 1980s style) about pressure and achievement and dynamism and getting the job done. Then he parades around the office shouting at his hapless staff, ranting and raving about understanding the euro. That's harassment.

I suppose the advertising agency would say that the fact I remember it shows that I understand the message. But what kind of message is it sending? Do people really think they have to treat their employees like this guy does?

Every time I see the advertisement I want to scream at everyone in his company to get up and walk out. Good business isn't about sleeping with the staff or shouting at the staff. It's about respect.

I wonder how much respect Richard Branson is getting in Virgin these days. I was drinking a cup of coffee when I first saw the advertisement for his "story" in the Sun. I nearly spilled the coffee all over me. Bad enough as Richard looks with his clothes on, he looks a million times worse with them off! I think he's a pretty shrewd businessman most of the time, but you have to wonder at a bloke who dresses up in women's bridal gowns one year and in the Sun the next. All publicity is not necessarily good publicity. Keep your kit on, Richard, and do us all a favour.

The industrialists of Offaly are having a field day after the county's magnificent win over Kilkenny at the weekend. I was in Tullamore at the weekend and there wasn't a business in the town that didn't have Good Luck signs hanging from the window. Every radio ad on Midlands Radio was a local business offering support. I don't usually follow any hurling team, but since I couldn't get away from it, I decided I had better weigh in behind the Offalymen and I almost managed to recoup my losses on the US Open tennis as a result.

I believe it was a great match! Anyway, we had a good time down at the Great Balloon Fire Literary Festival which was why I was in Offaly, and much congratulations should go to the arts officer, Sharon Mee, who is an extremely efficient organiser and who would be much better at running a company than the bloke in the TV ad. She didn't shout at anybody and got everything done all the same.

I have reserved comment about the markets until the end of this piece because what is the point in commenting about a yo-yo.

Attention was certainly diluted because of l'affaire Bill and Monica so the appointment of Yevgeny Primakov as Russian Prime Minister didn't take up as much news space as it otherwise would have done.

The Russian Central Bank has a new head too in Viktor Gerashchenko, although he's been there before. . . he lost his job the last time the rouble crashed. I can't say that things look hugely promising in Russia yet, although at least the politics are being sorted out. The economy, regretfully, is a much bigger problem.

And it's still a problem in Japan too. Retail sales of platinum and jewellery for the first half of the year fell by around 16 per cent which reflects the spending power of the Japanese this year.

Maybe they should start making a few gold and platinum hatpins. I'm sure many a chief executive would think it a suitable gift for a junior employee.

Sheila O'Flanagan is a fixed-income specialist at NCB Stockbrokers.