The only way I could afford to come back to Dublin is if the Irish Government hired me for a very specific role
The only way I could afford to come back to Dublin is if the Irish Government hired me for a very specific role
Brianna Parkins
Brianna Parkins columns
Brianna Parkins: Pensions are sexy, and 33 other things I wish I had known at 15
I love that the older I get, the more I realise how little I know. But these are the 35 things I wish I knew at 15
Brianna Parkins: I don’t enjoy Christmas as much as I did as a kid
Every time we stop trying to meet invisible Christmas expectations, an elf is taken from Santa’s workshop and shot in front of his family
Brianna Parkins: The Australian ambassador to Ireland came over for dinner recently
Wherever I find myself in life, I should in theory always be able to style it out with grace and self-confidence
Give me a quiet quitter over a loud worker any day - there’s nothing worse
Quiet quitters are unfairly maligned, in a way these are people I can respect. Loud workers on the other hand, they are way worse
Brianna Parkins: I’ve nothing against Irish men. I keep one myself. But I recommend Irish women
My dream is for a middle-aged Irish woman to come to my house and fix my life
Brianna Parkins: We need to end the trend of matching Christmas pyjamas. It’s wrong
I bombard my friends with lengthy WhatsApp sermons on the latest ills befalling humankind. Now it’s your turn. Please be seated
‘You need to pull it down, your whole bottom is on show,’ the woman said. ‘It’s a disgrace’
The transference of shame, particularly in Ireland, seems to flow from woman to woman
The Liberties is the last bastion of real Dublin. We should never let it be gentrified
Neighbourhoods now considered ‘cool’ because they have been washed of their working-class heritage
Good chat? Only when you leave Ireland, you realise it isn’t universal
Dublin is the old friend you fell out with but find yourself forgetting why after a few drinks in each other’s company
If I was hiring people, I would send candidates to the airport
Individualism thrives in airports. Every man is out for himself. Only the strong survive – or the very daft who have no self awareness
If I were an agony aunt, my advice would always be ‘leave them’
My dream in life is to be an agony aunt, but my advice would always be ‘leave them’. No considered empathy from me
Deliver me from the banal evil of ‘hot desking’. I dream of a desk with carpeted walls
They’ve taken our walls, they’ve taken our permanent desks. Where does it end?
There is no winning in the engagement ring Olympics
From ‘very sparkly’ to ‘too tacky’, what do those engagement ring comments really mean?
My grandad’s hobbies are listening to the Dubliners and complaining about still being alive
Grandad would tell me to come home soon because he didn’t ‘have long left’. It worked. I went home to Sydney every year
I’ve promised to give a speech, but am freaking out. You see, I’m a big thick
This was supposed to be the year I would slow down, say no to things
I miss Ireland for many reasons, but one is the lack of pressure to ‘get fit’
Sydney is and has always been a vain city, and the heat for nine months of the year means there is nowhere to hide
Do I look like a soft target? Do I give off the sad vibes of a person who can be inconvenienced?
A friend told me I had spent too long in Ireland and was ‘afraid of not being seen as sound’
Nothing really terrible can happen to you while having a little sit-down. With a biscuit
Work, especially if you love what you do, will be stressful. It will challenge your abilities daily. At least let me do it in a chair with a good back
Brianna Parkins: People who get up early in the morning for no reason are a menace to society
Getting up and journaling at 6am is seen as self-discipline, but writing things in a diary at 2am is a cry for help
Apartments with fewer windows sound okay, until you live in one
We might accept new apartment standards if the minister or developers traded in their homes to rent one
I can never make up for years on less money than I should. But I can advise young women to learn from my mistakes
After asking for more money early in my career, I was gaslit into thinking I was just lucky to be there
I wanted to slip her a note, warning against saying ‘yes’ to his marriage proposal
I like helping people, but I’d be glad to pass people’s idiotic questions over to artificial intelligence
I am quite good with money. I know exactly how to spend it all
Sacrificing life’s small joys to save cash is hard when you’re not sure it will be enough to get you the most modest of homes
Flying Ryanair, smoking on holiday and other things I’ll keep doing even though I shouldn’t
TikTok is awash with people posting about ‘propaganda’ they ‘won’t fall for’ - but here’s my list of things I know I will fall for, time and time again
Brianna Parkins: I envy Irish childhoods and the special confidence Irish children seem to have
Like many emigrants, we want our kids to be Irish but worry Ireland won’t be able to support them
‘I am Alan f***ing Sugar’: I marvel at my business acumen on DoneDeal
I once convinced my partner to drive to a random person’s shed in Monaghan to buy a €50 piece of furniture
Moving to Ireland helped me understand my mother, her peculiarities and weird secrecy
Love in Irish families is more of a doing word than a saying one
Being a woman on TV: One viewer described my teeth as ‘tea-stained’
Most emails I get are not about the quality of my journalism, but what I wear and the state of my hair
I wrote down all my relationships and why they ended: ‘I cheated’, ‘he cheated’
Brianna Parkins: I imagined the public servant looking through the answers and surmising I was in fact, the problem
I am the victim of the most middle-class crime ever committed
There was nothing I could do in the situation that would be a dignified response
As my life got easier, I got angrier. Things should not be so hard for the working class
I cannot accept that mental health issues and neurodivergence are ‘overdiagnosed’
There are things Australians do better than the Irish. Death isn’t one of them
We get all awkward and weird about it, even though there’s a 100% chance it will happen to everyone
I’ve entered the world of weight-loss clips on TikTok. It’s like heroin chic all over again
Now it’s wearing activewear, and speaks with the mean but well meaning tone of a big sister sitting us down for a serious chat
Crosswords & Puzzles
Crosswords & puzzles to keep you challenged and entertained
Common Ground
How does a post-Brexit world shape the identity and relationship of these islands
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