Desert Outtakes - Croatia show Canada who effed who

Quote

“I’d like to thank the Canada manager for motivation. In the end, Croatia showed who effed whom.”

Zlatko Dalic after his team’s 4-1 win over Canada, whose boss John Herdman had, somewhat foolishly, vowed that his bunch would “eff” Croatia. Karma, that.

Number: 19

That’s how many World Cup appearance Manuel Neuer will have made when he lines out for Germany on Thursday, taking him past Cláudio Taffarel and Sepp Maier on the all-time list.

Italian passion

As we know, people can get very exercised about the performances of those in football commentary boxes, but the reaction in Italy to Lele Adani’s work on Argentina’s win over Mexico has taken it to a whole new level.

Argentina World Cup win not enough to knock Brazil off top of Fifa rankings

---

Argentina forced to swap bus for helicopters as fans swarm streets during parade

---

Qatar revels in tournament triumph — a lens on how the world works

---

World Cup 2022 knock-out stages: Your complete guide to the fixtures and results

---

Let’s just say, former Italian international Adani, who was on co-commentary duty for RAI, got a touch excited when Lionel Messi scored that opening goal on 64 minutes.

“LEO MESSI! THE BEST LEFT FOOT IN THE WORLD! FROM DI MARIA TO MESSI, ALWAYS ROSARIO! THE CITY OF FOOTBALL, ONE FOR THE OTHER, THE DEADLOCK IS BROKEN! ALL STAND FOR THE BEST PLAYER IN THE WORLD! RESPECT FOR THE NUMBER ONE!”

And then he was seen holding an Argentina flag in the commentary box.

How annoyed was the Italian Association of Radio and Television Users? Very.

“Not just football fans, but general viewers are protesting against the excessive and inopportune behaviour of the commentator,” they wrote in their formal complaint. “The commentary seemed more like a broadcast live from a sports bar than a public service like RAI that is meant to provide guarantees to its licence payers.”

At least his pal Antonio Cassano stood up for him. “Envy is an ugly beast,” he said, “and when you live on envy, you live on sh*t.” Indeed.

Word of mouth

“Because he is so much quicker than the full-back, he should be made wear one Doc Marten and one stiletto, just to even things up a little.”

Stuart Pearce thinks it’s time Fifa intervened and did something about Kylian Mbappé's terrorising of full-backs. He’s right too.

“Saw Messi cleaning the floor with our jersey and flag. He should ask God that I don’t find him.”

Mexican boxing world champion Canelo Alvarez after spotting a clip of Lionel in Argentina’s dressing room after their 2-0 win over Mexico, reckoning that he disrespected Mexico’s flag a touch. Few saw what Alvarez saw, mind, but still, it might be best for Lionel to hire extra security.

“We probably also attack badly because we are too old - that must be it, surely?”

Jan Vertonghen with a not-so-subtle dig at his team-mate Kevin De Bruyne after he had suggested that Belgium were “too old” to win the World Cup.

“Sport is something that should bring nations closer together and you are a sportsperson. Why is it that you should not ask your government to take away its military fleet from the Persian Gulf?”

A question put to the United States’ Tyler Adams by an Iranian reporter at Monday’s press conference. “Eh,” Adams replied, not unreasonably.

Brutal honesty

Harshest slice of World Cup punditry thus far? Well, a strong contender is former Australian goalkeeper Zeljko Kalac’s verdict on striker Jason Cummings’ performance when he came on as a sub for Australia against France last week.

“Mate, he was minging,” said Kalac, “he was absolutely minging. I think the bet should have been: is he going to touch the ball more than three times? Mate, he was non-existent. We basically played with ten men when he came on.”

If Cummings thought that was harsh, he might be comforted by learning that even the elite of footballing strikers are getting a hard time too.

“He doesn’t get in behind the defence and he doesn’t face you up, he’s a link player who is going deeper and deeper to get the ball,” said Tony Adams of Harry Kane’s two performances so far. “If I was a centre-back up against him in Qatar, I’d be smoking a cigar.” Minging.