Amhrán na Queen barely registers - even on mainland

TV View: The Big One. Has there ever been any bigger?

We'd talked of little else but, finally, Saturday had come. Our presenter and panel, understandably enough, were giddy with excitement and anticipation. Hearts pumping. A sporting epic, they felt in their bones, awaited us. The game under lights too, which simply added to the magic. All set. Bring it on! Watford v Everton at Vicarage Road! Worth every penny Sky pay-per-view had charged us.

Except we had to tape it and watch it later because there was rugby on at Croke Park.

Naturally, for the day that was in it, the RTÉ panel were upbeat and full of positive thoughts.

"What if Ireland lose?" Tom McGurk asked George Hook.

"It would reduce Eddie to Steve Staunton proportions," said George. "It would mean our next two matches would be like San Marino and Luxembourg."

"If Ireland don't win this game it's a very, very, very serious problem," Tom told Brent Pope.

"Yes, you could start calling them chokers, if they lose this then a lot of dreams would be shattered," agreed Brent.

On the off chance they'd be offering the "what if Ireland win?" scenario, we switched to the BBC, just in time to hear Brian Moore chat with John Inverdale about Jonny Wilkinson versus Ronan O'Gara.

"I think he can match and probably beat O'Gara out of hand," said Moore, a prediction that brought the softest of smiles to the face of the man standing beside him, Keith Wood.

"I have a sneaky feeling England might win this, actually," said Moore.

Wood said he had a sneaky feeling too, but it wasn't the same sneaky feeling Moore had.

By then Inverdale had stressed on more than a few occasions just how historic a day it was, to the point where he apologised to "some of you listening, perhaps on the mainland, who think we're over-egging the cake here".

There we were, the best of friends, him being all sensitive and caring about the issue, and he had to go and use the word "mainland". But, as Inverdale's next guest, BBC correspondent Denis Murray, put it, "The Irish never forget their history, the English never learn it."

Wood and Inverdale giggled. Moore asked himself what any of this had to do with rugby.

Anyway, back on RTÉ George was forecasting a draw, a prediction that was neither accurate for the battle of the anthems ( Amhrán na Queen , for the sake of inclusivity) nor for the match itself. In terms of decibels the home anthem won by 43-13, though we, like you (go on, admit it), were reduced to snivelling wrecks by the sight of John Hayes (with patched-up ears) and Jerry Flannery (in floods of tears).

To be honest, the occasion got to this couch too. All that heated debate in the letters pages and on the national airwaves had, until Saturday, simply hardened our views about that vile, offensive anthem, one that shouldn't be played in Big Trixie's Nite Club, never mind Croke Park. But in the end we held our whisht while they played Ireland's Call . Did we mention it just reminds us of Paul McCartney's Frog Chorus?

"The sense of anticipation is almost unbearable," said Ryle Nugent, who we feared might pass out, so overcome was he by it all. He got it together, though, a bit like Ireland. And after that it was a very lovely 80 minutes.

"Ireland were just hungrier," Jeremy Guscott explained at half-time on the BBC, while Wood, overfed on the cream of the first half, just purred.

They were doing a bit of purring back on RTÉ too, Conor O'Shea and Brent battling it out for the most superlative superlative. Was there a chance of us beating our record win over England? Tom wanted to know.

"Are you dismissing the prospect of a 23-all draw?" asked George.

Second half. "It's kind of pinch-yourself territory," as Ryle put it. Black and blue, we were.

"We may have brave men, George, but we'll never have better," said Tom at full-time. If he'd carried on he'd have arrived at, "Glory O, Glory O, to the bold Fenian men." Which, on the day that was in it, might not have been entirely appropriate.

Tom, did, though, read out a message from Tim Carey, the official historian of Croke Park. "He rang us to say that the spot where Girvan Dempsey scored his try was the spot where Michael Hogan was shot dead."

Lest we forget. For once the panel were very nearly speechless. Except George's face, which had been unmoved all day by the poignancy of the occasion, screamed, "Ah Jeeeeeeeeeeesus."