We are a changed people when the sun shines. Róisin Ingle looks at the highs and lows of this week's heatwave
What's great?
We are a happier nation
It's true. That normally surly sandwich seller smiles and asks "How are you today?", causing you to choke on your cappuccino. Complete strangers strike up a conversation, not minding one bit that they are squashed sardine-like against you on a stony beach.
"It's the best country in the world when the sun shines," you say. "Better than Paris," says your neighbour. The sun has definitely gone to our heads.
There is a scientific explanation, of course. "Stripping off the layers and being more free in our bodies makes us feel good about ourselves," says VHI stress counsellor and psychologist Karen Belshaw. "In the warmer weather we are not tensing our muscles to protect from the cold. This means our body language is more open and we are more physically self-aware, which means we are more energetic and more awake."
"Sunlight helps overcome Seasonal Affected Disorder because of chemicals that are stimulated in the brain," explains Dr Thomas Quigley, medical director of the Safefood organisation. "The pineal gland produces chemicals that keep the body aware of day and night and, with more sunshine, increased levels of the anti-depressive seratonin are released into the blood supply."
The mood is catching. Children across the country have abandoned their PlayStations and are revelling in the realisation that they don't need to wear their coats when they go out to play. Teenagers hanging around street corners don't look quite so untidy or bored as they stretch out in the sun.
And as for adults, this weather triggers childhood memories of long, lazy days when their only worry was which ice-pop - a Wibbly Wobbly Wonder or a Loop the Loop - to choose.
Of course there are the odd few of us who are crankier than usual. Leaving Cert students. Hay fever sufferers.
And, of course, rubbish collectors. Who can blame them? The bluer the skies the more likely it is that the streets will be covered in cigarette butts, empty fizzy drink bottles and melted ice-cream. For their sake, keep your cones under control, people.
Outdoor activity increases
The sun brings an added bounce to our step. Gerry Collins of the Great Outdoors in Dublin has been delighted to welcome the fair-weather campers, climbers and water sports activists who have been packing out the store since the sun started shining.
"The seasoned camper will take ages deciding on their equipment, agonising over each purchase, doing research on the internet - but the good weather has seen people popping in last minute, looking for the cheapest tent or sleeping bag and then hopping on a bus with all their gear," he says.
Surf fashion is also hot, he reports, even if the high pressure weather has actually reduced the size of the waves along the coast.
"Every second person wants board shorts and there is a rush on for Lycra sunsuits and wetsuits for children," he says. Elsewhere, shops selling anything from cycling gear to fishing tackle are experiencing an increase in sales, while high numbers of female joggers and walkers could be spotted across the country even after the mini-marathon. At Champion Sports stores around the country it's the Twist Stepper, a portable fitness machine that can be used in or out of doors, which has been most in demand.
Kites are selling well and pedometers and Heelys - shoes with a wheel on the sole - are "flying out the door" too, apparently.
Tourism gets a boost
In this weather outdoor attractions such as Fota Wildlife Park in Cork become very different places - just ask the ring-tailed lemurs. These creatures roam wild around the park, and in the good weather can be spotted sunbathing, bellies positioned skywards, saluting the sun.
"The warm spell completely transforms the place. I can take out all the ads I want but it's all a waste of money if it's lashing rain," says Mark Hegarty, marketing manager for the park. "Our visitor numbers are up and the atmosphere around the place has been electric, lots of smiling faces and people eating ice-cream."
Paul Kealy, director of marketing at Fáilte Ireland, says the sunshine is a crucial factor in encouraging day trips, which are worth about €2 billion a year to the tourism industry.
"I have three children under seven and there is no way they'll be watching DVDs in this weather. So we went off to Brittas Bay in Co Wicklow and of course we spent money in various shops and restaurants. The average day tripper in Ireland spends €23 a head," he says.
Less rage on the roads
Yes, we know there are still tailbacks and congestion, but when the sun comes the traffic improves, says Conor Faughnan of AA Roadwatch. "Add to the sunshine the fact that the schools are off and traffic volumes in this weather can drop by up to 20 per cent," he says.
Some people have reported that their usual 1½ hour commute is now down to 45 minutes, which is a life-altering, if temporary, development. On Fridays, the promise of a sunny evening has been luring people out of their cars and onto public transport so they can enjoy a pint after work, which also adds to the reduction of cars on the road.
Drivers say that in the dry conditions people seem less prone to road rage or traffic-related frustration, with more drivers smiling at each other than usual, while simultaneously risking one-arm suntan syndrome by dangling an arm out the window.
"Driving along this week I saw a guy with a brand new 06 D Ferrari, top down, a huge smile on his face. Whatever gets that guy in life it isn't going to be stress," says Faughnan.
What grates?
Barbecue fever
One of the leading DIY superstores did a survey of their customers in the middle of the Wettest May Since Records Began™ and discovered that only 20 per cent had held a barbecue so far this year. This shocking trend was reversed in recent days, with the same superstores reporting a rush on barbecue equipment and garden furniture not seen since Italia '90.
"It's great to see the red faces - for a minute there in May we were wondering if we would shift all these barbecues," says a relieved Peter Dolan of Woodie's. "Charcoal is selling by the lorry-load and items like sun loungers are flying out of the door, which is when you really know summer is here." The fact that we still haven't got the hang of alfresco entertaining hasn't stopped anybody taking up the tongs.
Novelty apron? Check.
Starving guests sneaking off to buy sandwiches? Check.
Singed sausages with extra burnt bits on the side served around midnight? Check.
At the other end of the scale, competitive alfresco types are spending their SSIAs on whole suckling pigs on a spit or cooking entire salmon in dying embers à la Jamie. Whatever your fancy, those vigilant types in Safefood warn of the health implications, with 40 per cent of food-borne outbreaks of food poisoning in Ireland still happening in the home (or garden).
Sartorial dilemmas
Let's face it, we are at a loss when it comes to knowing how to dress for this weather. Our failings are shown up even more by the sizzling style of visitors who possess not only the skin tones for pastels but the legs for mini-skirts and the bellies for belly tops. When an elegant Asian woman wafts down Grafton Street wearing a tangerine coloured silk dress and matching sun parasol there's a good reason why she gets filthy looks from sweaty locals in their best vest 'n' shorts combination.
Most of us don't have a summer wardrobe, we only have a holiday wardrobe, which is not quite the same thing, according to stylist Catherine Condell. "Outfits that looks fine on the beach abroad are not suitable for parading around Dundrum shopping centre," she says. "Having said that, lots of women are dressing stylishly but some have gone overboard in terms of grooming. They look like little terracotta pots - fake nails, fake hair, fake everything. It's a cartoon version of what we should be in the summer."
Men don't escape criticism either, with Condell pointing out what she considers a social and fashion crime. "Guys going around topless in their football shorts, walking into shops is so rude," she says. "It doesn't matter if they are big builders or skinny boys, it's not acceptable, sunshine or no sunshine. Throw a T-shirt on, boys." And bin those priest-style sandals while you're at it.
The lobster look
At a fashion show in Dublin this week, at least two of the models sported this season's latest pink-and-white strap-mark patterns on their shapely backs. If the beautiful people can't even look after themselves in this weather, what chance have the rest of us got?
According to the latest research by the Irish Cancer Society, 40 per cent of Irish adults never use sunscreen. The society advises people to seek shade between 11am and 3pm, advice nobody in this country was interested in taking if the bared expanses of flesh in parks around the country at lunchtime this week was anything to go by. Despite our aversion to sun screen though, we have gone from laughing at the pink-tinged skin of people who let themselves burn up to secretly fearing for their lives. And any parents caught in the company of lobster-skinned children risk becoming social pariahs. During the mini-heatwave, Sun Protection Negligence has overtaken slapping as the ultimate parenting no-no.
Beach blues
They come bearing ghetto blasters and six packs. They pick a spot on the strand and blast Bob Marley music. You try to be equanimous but can't help asking them if they would mind awfully just turning down the music. They do mind. You move to the other end of the beach until the next posse arrives.
It's not just beach terrorists who spoil our fun by the sea. Irish beaches just aren't built for invasions like the one that took place over the bank holiday weekend. According to Susan Griffin, a correspondent with this newspaper who visited Rossbeigh Beach in Co Kerry last weekend, the Blue Flag bonanza is meaningless if the beaches are not maintained properly.
"There was no lifeguard on duty. There were no rubbish bins on the beach. All water taps were turned off. The toilets on the back beach were locked shut. We counted 21 tents on the back beach on Saturday night. Where do you think their inhabitants relieved themselves?" We shudder to think, Susan.
Weather bores
The national weather conversation embraces new levels of mundanity when it's sweltering outside.
"The main thing people are obsessed with during weather like this," says meteorologist and Irish Times columnist Brendan McWilliams, "is how long it's going to last." As a commentator on all aspects of the elements he gets asked the question half a dozen times a day and has noticed some people have mixed feelings about the warm spell.
"It's as though we feel guilty in weather like this, almost as if we don't deserve it. For some of us the warm spell feels like too much of a free ride," he says.
The biggest weather bores are the ones who attempt to analyse the kind of sunshine we've got. "That's a very dry heat, I'm exhausted," they say. Or, "That's a wet heat now, humid it is."
Others are convinced that any summer-style weather will only last from Monday to Friday and that by Saturday when they have got a day off to enjoy it, the weather is "definitely going to break".
With rain threatening this weekend, these people will feel vindicated and rush off to avail of special offers on anoraks in cut-price supermarkets across the land while telling everyone who will listen, "I knew it wouldn't last".
A little less conversation, a little more sunshine please.