Dail Sketch:They were wishing Bertie Ahern a happy new year yesterday, writes Frank McNally
As usual after the epic Christmas recess, there was some confusion about whether they meant the Irish new year or the Chinese one (which begins on Sunday).
But you never know quite where you are with the Taoiseach, or when, so maybe the Opposition parties were wise to cover all the options.
Asked about Shannon Airport being implicated in the transit of prisoners for torture, for example, Bertie began whichever year it is by relaying US assurances that Ireland was not being used to fly prisoners "to Guatemala or anywhere else".
Nobody had mentioned Guatemala until then. So either this was a sneaky US defence designed to distract the Irish Government from events in Guantanamo or the Taoiseach was disoriented.
After a week in India, the latter possibility could not be ruled out.
Mr Ahern had been strewn with garlands from Bangalore to Bombay. But he knew he could not expect such deference back home, and the process of disorientation began as soon as he stood up for Leaders' Questions, to be asked again by Enda Kenny about the shortage of speed cameras on Irish roads.
By the time it came to Joe Higgins, the Socialist Party TD was suggesting that "all the garlands went to your head, Taoiseach". Instead of flowers, Mr Higgins hung the attempted privatisation of Aer Lingus around Mr Ahern's neck.
The Taoiseach said the partial sale of the airline was all about ensuring the investment its future needed. The SP man said the Government itself could provide the investment.
Whereupon the always-uneasy alliance between the Dáil's two socialists broke down. "There's not an airline in Europe that believes in that old hat," Mr Ahern snarled.
Not for the first time the task of extracting information from the Taoiseach inspired comparisons with archaeology.
After his failed attempt to get details of the Aer Lingus plan, Mr Higgins claimed the National Museum had learned more from interviewing "Clonycavan Man". The truth about "Neo-liberal Man" would remain buried a while longer.
Mr Ahern was left speechless, however, by an Opposition rebellion on Taoiseach's Questions, when he proposed to merge no fewer than 37 written queries in a single reply.
It's not unusual for taoisigh to group similar questions. Unfortunately, in this case the questions ranged from his recent visits to Spain, Croatia, Hungary and India, via the Brussels summit, not to mention meetings with the presidents of Cyprus and Bulgaria, and the new German chancellor.
The Taoiseach was poised with an epic script. But the Opposition wisely decided to avoid rushing the questions through during the last days of the Year of the Rooster. Instead, the Dáil will return to them separately in the Year of the Dog.