In our household, my son has a favourite winter gilet that has his neighbour’s name and phone number inked into the label. Our little fellow Oscar, who has just turned three, loves the gilet because it used to belong to his “big boy” neighbour, Nikolai. If I’m having trouble getting him dressed in the morning for Montessori, the easiest way to convince him is to say he should wear “Nikolai’s jumper”. Ditto Nikolai’s trousers, socks and shoes.
We’ve been gifted them by Nikolai’s mum, just as we in turn have gifted other neighbours and relatives Oscar’s old clothes once he has grown out of them. It’s a casual exchange based on sound economic principles – given recent estimates that the cost of raising one child is €15,000 per year, swapping makes sense. But our decision to often swap rather than shop comes with benefits that go well beyond the financial. Swapping or donating cuts out waste, builds into the circular economy, and creates friendships, as parents meet to hand over boxes and bags of clothes, toys and other knick-knacks.
It’s a throwback to a pre-fast fashion era 1980s model, where it was normal for people to ferry bags of clothing around to houses, and where a generation of children can recall attempting to squeeze into their older sibling or cousin or neighbour’s Communion dress because there would be no sense in getting something new just for the sake of one day.
Sometimes when a friend or relative is passing on clothing, there’s an unexpected poignancy to the moment. I’ve stood in a room with a parent who has sighed and said that, yes, they want to give their child’s old clothes away because they don’t see themselves having more kids.
READ MORE
In talking about clothing, they’re also revealing something of themselves – there is an intimacy to the conversation, even as they hold up a dinky pair of dungarees or a multicoloured woollen hat brought from Brazil with llamas on the side, and reminisce about who gave it to them or where their child once wore it.
It’s also a relief to declutter; and it makes people feel good to know they’re giving or getting more life from garments.
As attitudes have changed in favour of sustainability, so has the language around it. Where once we habitually deployed the term “second-hand”, now we’re more likely to say “preloved” or “vintage”, a small tweak in terminology that’s indicative of a large-scale shift in values.
From charity shops to Depop and Vinted, from family and friend exchanges to WhatsApp-based swap groups, careful reuse of children’s clothing is in, pointless waste is out.
In Dublin, the WhatsApp group Swapsies Inchicore – one of several swap groups in the capital – has about 500 members. It began in 2018, and items change hands on the group with breathtaking speed.
“On the weekend, you might have over 50 messages in the space of an hour or two. If you’re not paying attention in the group, within minutes it’s gone,” says Nádia Vieira. The 33-year-old, Dublin-based LinkedIn employee is on maternity leave – she and her husband are parents to 10-month-old Artur. She and her husband, who both grew up in Portugal, moved to Dublin eight years ago for work opportunities. With baby Artur, “it’s challenging because we have no family support”, she says. “So everything is on both of us, but we’re making it work.”
Vieira found out about the Swapsies Inchicore group through a Portuguese friend based in Dublin. “When I was pregnant I asked her to add me. I got a few bits even when I was pregnant, a onesie for him, a baby bath I still have. Most of the things were really good quality. Sometimes I even get nice brands – to be fair, I don’t care about the brands, I care more about a specific item. I got babygros, nice coats for winter. Before he was born, I got wool cardigans that were handmade.”
Closed groups ensure quality control, she says. “There’s a lot of respect. You know the stuff people are posting is real. You don’t have to worry about people trying to trick you. It’s not about selling an item, it’s about recycling. Sometimes you see people trying to sell and then the admins will come and remind you that this is a community that wants to help each other and we allow for some items to be sold but that’s not the purpose of the group. The purpose of the group is to help each other.”
Ashley Steed, a theatre-maker from California, came to Dublin in 2020 with her husband, who is from Tipperary. They have two boys, Caolin (4) and Ruairí (2), and live in the Dublin 6 area, where Steed is an administrator of the D6/D6W mums’ group. “We’ve discouraged selling on our group,” Steed says. “In Los Angeles, we have something called ‘Buy Nothing’ groups, so one of the first things I looked for here was to see if we had these types of groups here. There’s D6 Freecycle and Rathmines Freecycle. There’s also a lot of clothes-swap events happening now, like costume swaps for Halloween, or swaps where you bring gently used clothes to swap. Most of my stuff, I just give away. I think a lot about the dumps and how they’re filling up, and how I can contribute as little as I can to that, which is hard in our contemporary lives. Everything comes in a package.”
Steed enjoys the feeling of goodwill that comes with the exchanges, which usually involves collections from the home of the giver. “There was a mother who came by recently – her baby was seven days old. I had a bunch of stuff I gave her. I told her she was doing great and looking well. She sent me a text later saying how much that meant to her, to have that encouragement.” Steed is working on a show, “a love letter to motherhood”, which will use only second-hand items, “mostly pots and pans, wooden spoons” – items toddlers enjoy. The swap groups have helped her get items she needs for the show. And she’s delighted to jettison old belongings from her own home. “I’ve always been a purger,” she says, laughing. “I love getting rid of things that no longer serve their purpose. I’m very conscious too about the clothing I purchase. I want things that are going to last.”
David Desmond and his wife, Shoko Fujita are based near Schull in west Cork. They first started making use of swap groups when Fujita became pregnant with their daughter, Emiko, who is now one year old. “When we didn’t know what we needed, swap groups provided a place to go and talk to people and get advice,” says Desmond. “In my workplace, a similar group was set up as well. I remember going in there, looking at cloth nappies before the baby came. We are still using cloth nappies. We’re very conscious of synthetic, plastic waste. The idea of using disposable nappies and the waste it would create is crazy to think of. The cloth nappy library in Cork was also really good – we were able to rent a newborn kit with a load of newborn nappies.” When a neighbour passing the house saw the cloth nappies drying on the line, she called in to offer the couple another bag of them. “We got huge benefit out of that, it was nice,” Desmond says.
For Fujita, the decision to use cloth nappies makes sense because the couple don’t have to drive to the shops to buy disposable nappies. “Where we live, there’s not many shops around. If I can stay home washing and then use the nappy again, that’s ultimately easier,” she says. The same is true of using the swap groups. “Instead of going to a city to get clothes, it’s more convenient.” She is a member of a local mums’ WhatsApp group with about 70 members, and she sometimes attends the swap-groups that take place seasonally in The Treehouse soft play centre in Skibbereen. “There’s also a monthly clothes swap in Durrus,” she says.
Good quality and sustainability: that’s coming to the forefront of people’s minds again
— Laura Keating Grant of Lovely Things
For many parents, buying or selling at markets is an enjoyable way to encourage the circular economy. In Limerick, Valerie Mitchell took over ownership of Baby Market Ireland in 2022 (babymarketireland.ie). Since then, she has run numerous events in hotels and community centres across the country.
“It’s a day out,” she says. “Some people come with the car full to the brim with buggies, cots, bassinets and outfits – some outfits that have never been worn.” Tickets for sellers are from €30, and from €5 for attendees. “The parents are there, selling their items and for them, it’s probably their first time being out of the house before nine o’clock in the morning, and it’s not a wedding or a funeral they’re going to. The couple are able to have that time together. Once they’re finished selling their items, they get away and get to have dinner.”
The growth of the preloved movement is persuading people to adapt their thinking around present-buying. For Christmas last year I asked my sister for a gift of preloved clothing for the first time, encouraged by the range of second-hand options available via online stores like Vinted, Vestiaire and Sellpy.
Laura Keating Grant, in her shop, Lovely Things in Deansgrange, Co Dublin, which sells vintage and preloved garments for children along with Irish brands, sees this a lot.
“There’s a mindset shift,” she says. “Because we’ve been online for a few years – we opened in Deansgrange in July – we’ve a mix of customers who have been with us since the beginning, then also passersby and people who have heard about us through word-of-mouth. Good quality and sustainability: that’s coming to the forefront of people’s minds again. Some people come in specifically for a vintage piece or because a parent has asked. Someone brought in a party invitation that said, ‘No new gifts, please’. Shopping preloved is not a compromise, it’s a fabulous way of sourcing great quality items for your kids at a price that’s really accessible for people. I think it’s become second nature for a lot of people.”
David Desmond too believes attitudes are evolving around reusing clothing. “Something I remember from my childhood was like hand-me-downs was almost like a sign that you were poor or that, ‘Oh this child, he’s wearing hand-me-downs, they don’t get good clothes’. But I hope that’s changing. From my perspective, it is. It’s not that we can’t afford to pay for something, it just makes more sense not to have these things piling up in houses and ending up in waste. It’s giving more life to clothes.”
Where to start
An ‘invaluable’ resource: Parents on Swapsies
“My child is fully dressed in second-hand clothes. I strictly ask for no gifts for her and I’ve never bought anything for her, as far as possible. I asked friends or relatives to donate to charity instead. If she gets new items I send them straight to charity with tags so they can make money off them as I’ve plenty to dress her in from Swapsies alone. It’s so good and I feel like I am cutting down on waste.” Una, Dublin
“My kids are dressed entirely in Swapsies and hand-me-downs. It’s not only been a lifeline for maximising the circular economy, it’s been a great way to make friends. When we moved back to Dublin from the Netherlands during Covid, Swapsies was literally one of the few ways to meet people in the area. Since then we’ve set up a Freecycle group just for local people living in IPAS and we hold three to four clothes swaps per year [via Inchicore for all on social media], which are extremely popular. The Halloween one had a few hundred people coming along throughout the day.” Louise Fitzpatrick, Dublin
“I’m in both the Swapsies group and the Mammary Mob, for clothes but also baby bits. I found it really invaluable for me as a first-time mother: my daughter is six months old. When I was telling someone I know locally that I was pregnant, she said, “Don’t be buying anything, I’ll get you added to this Swapsies group.” It saved me a lot of money. I’ve been trekking a lot of the roads in Dublin 8, over to Drimnagh as well and D12. But I like that. Sometimes you get chatting to other mothers or parents. It was a nice conversation-starter, about expecting a baby and what’s ahead. I’m from Monaghan. There’s no similar group [there] that I know of in my friend group or wider circle; it’s unfortunate, because a lot of them would be more out-of-pocket than me. I couldn’t recommend it more. The transition to parenthood without the money struggles has been brilliant; I have not needed to spend silly money on stuff.” Collette McEntee, Dublin 8
“We have just moved back from the UK; parents over there are on Vinted constantly, so I think that will be a real game changer when it properly gets up and running here. I bought three pairs of Timberland sandals for my kids’ holiday (I opted for unworn so they were dearer at about €11 each), whereas they are €50 in the shops. I bought runners for €4. A few swipes on the phone and they are ordered and arrive at my door. And don’t even get me started on how useful it was for kids’ costumes for Halloween, or Christmas clothing.” Laura Bolger, Templeogue
“I love rocking up to someone’s house and collecting a bag of used clothes. I love that clothes have had a history before us and that my kids get to give them a new life. It’s exciting to bring the bag home and see the treasures people have passed on (you can even find expensive stuff sometimes, although it doesn’t really matter). I could afford to buy clothes for my kids but I prefer to use second-hand clothes due to the environmental impact. It’s also silly to buy new clothes when kids grow out of them so fast. I had a baby three weeks ago and she went straight into 0-to three-months clothes so I missed out on using all the newborn clothes I had (luckily I hadn’t bought a single thing myself). I’ll be passing on all those small clothes again to someone who needs them, which makes me feel nice too.” – Kati O’Gorman, Terenure
