Opel Astra Twintop 2.0: While the moneyed masses wonder how to spend their latest windfalls, some will opt to go under the knife, getting their chin stapled to the back of their head in the pursuit of that youthful look. Others will opt to make their spending foray on the forecourts.
Despite all that's said about practical motoring this glorious independent form of transport still comes with sex appeal and if you make the right choice, it does wonders for your ego.
If cars are full of sexual fervour, then a hard-topped convertible is the motoring equivalent of safe sex; retaining all the motoring allure and virility of a convertible but with added protection against the vicissitudes of nature.
And just as our sexual mores have changed in recent decades, so has our reaction to the motoring exhibitionism of driving through the city with the roof down. Where once it was judged as ostentatious bragging, it's become more accepted on sunny days, with only the most belligerent baseball cap-clad idiot voicing off their ignorant opinions as you drive by.
For the rest of society, it seems, going topless is nothing more than a motoring right. These days the masses reserve most of their motoring ire for the suburban SUV, regarded with the same opprobrium as towards sex offenders driving school buses.
Of course the sexual connotations could be expounded to every facet of the motoring world, from performance to economy. But we'll park it there for the time being and concentrate instead on the natural themes, as expounded by the TV ad campaign for the new Astra.
The Twintop can do many things but surfing is probably not its forte, if for nothing else than it's the physical equivalent of a baby elephant taking to the waves. After all, the biggest problem with these tin-topped convertibles is the extra weight they carry.
And the Twintop is a heavy beast. For instance, the 2-litre version we tested is heavier than any other Opel car on sale, including the Signum, Vectra and even the Vectra Estate, weighing in at over 1,600kgs.
That should not unduly scare you off, however, for with this 2-litre 197bhp engine, there's plenty of power on tap.
As with the regular Astra sports hatch, the sports button on the dash is much more than some gimmick to impress your dates. Press that little button and there's a very noticeable improvement in throttle response and engine note. Whatever about its ability in other engines, the sports mode really packed a punch in our test car.
The old problem of torque steer when mixing front-wheel drive and 200bhp did raise its head on occasion but thanks to good weather and dry roads, it never impeded our enjoyment. The six-speed gearbox is short and notchy, ideal for more sporting changes and nice and smooth (a five-speed unit is fitted to all but the 2-litre and 1.9 CDTi versions). Overall, this range topper is fast, efficient and all you'd look for in a sports coupé in this price bracket.
The same cannot be said of the 1.6-litre entry-level version. With a 0-100km/h time of 14.1 seconds it's ideal for cruising through town, giving passing crowds plenty of time to admire you in your new car. On the open road, it's unlikely to be up to much else however. Perhaps the best buy would be the 1.8-litre version, offering performance but not too racy to turn you into a blur of noise and tyre smoke.
The Twintop is an Astra and as such it handles much like its hatchback version, which itself is a compliment to the engineers, given that it has to carry all that extra weight.
The 2-litre test version was a little jumpy in town, the engine trying to unleash its power through the front wheels at all times, but it was never unruly. Issues we have with the rear visibility in the sports hatch also arose here. For all the duality offered by coupé convertibles, there are serious compromises to be made with space.
With 205 litres of boot space with the roof down, it's equal to the likes of the Peugeot 307CC, VW Eos and the Volvo C70 but that really isn't saying much. It's true that other sports models don't offer much more - the Mazda MX-5 for instance only offers 150 litres - but the space is usually accessible and in a proper square format. In this instance - as with the Eos - with the roof down your bags are buried under various folds of metal. To access your luggage you have to push a button on the boot lip that lifts the roof slightly out of the boot, offering enough space to wiggle out your briefcase, but that's about all. Similarly, there are space issues with the back seats. The low profile of the roof means that adults over 5ft will be left crouching forward, while their knees will be buried into the back of the front seats. The rear space is really only for two small children or a pair of contortionists.
Then there's the very impressive roof mechanism. Forget about Citroën's fancy C4 TV advert with the transformer robot; this is a far more impressive transformation.
To a chorus of whining motors, great slabs of metal flip and fold while various plastic covers flap about. The entire operation takes 25 seconds, which is impressive.
It's worth stopping the operation in mid-flow just to admire the various joists, motors and control arms that are revealed when the bootlid is flipped backwards.
Again, as with its competitors, beneath the obvious admiration at such engineering excellence, there is a niggling doubt at the back of the mind as to what happens when just one of these little arms or motors fail to perform or the programme gets out of sync. Then again, open-top motoring fans are by their very nature optimists who will have no problem putting their trust in Opel's engineering.
We have another warning for future owners: check that the roof is dry before performing any metal folding feats. The problem is that the main roof section lifts up and then flips up - after a rainshower it can give the front seat occupants a little shower.
These are not major causes for concern and the Astra Twintop has a lot to offer. No one will buy this car for its boot space, people carrying ability or its practicality.
Perhaps the strongest feature is its price. Starting at €30,495 for the 1.6-litre version, that's nearly €7,000 less than the equivalent 1.6-litre Eos and significantly less than its Peugeot or Renault rivals.
At the 2-litre level it retains much of its price advantage; enough at least to leave you with spare cash to shop from the options list, thereby improving not only your time with the car, but also its attraction when you go to resell it.
For our money the Astra has the look, performance and ability to see off all its French challengers and pips the Eos when it comes to price. It even makes us start to wonder about the likes of the Volvo C70, which at €51,750 doesn't seem any better than the Astra and thereby is placing a lot of value on its badge.
For the virile motorist who wants to place it safe, the Astra would seem the wisest buy. It may not make you look younger or more attractive, but it does let the wind sweep through your comb-over on a sunny day.